Freedom at last!!!

Still nothing new to post..
Life is chugging along at a snails pace.
Current mood is: irritable.. restless...bitchy... I can feel it clawing at the surface, wanting freedom but I'm not allowing it to escape. It's a fine line between words that cut and fists that hurt but I'm holding my own. And I will WIN!!!

The ex is all over me like white on rice, and Ive had enough, so I did allow my venomous words attack him. When ever his life is not going well, he calls me whining about how "fucked" he is.
Like I care. He always does this while I'm at work, because he knows I will not react while I'm sitting at my desk. Well.. yesterday he caught me while a number of things were going on.
1) I'm sick.. I feel like shit, and I'm running a fever, but I cant take time off work..
2) I ache.. due to being sick
3) He is an asshat!!!

So.. I let loose, and my poor co-workers had to listen to me say things that only he should of heard such as:
"Your 37 yrs old, its time for you to put your big boy undies on and grow up. Stop harassing me and laying all the blame at my feet, I'm done.. no you may not stay with me for the next month. It's NOT an option, as I don't wish for you to step foot in MY home. Where I pay the bills, clean, sleep and eat. I have NO desire to be around you, see you, let alone talk to you. I'm D O N E!!!
You are the one who made all the decisions to raise your voice and fist's to me all those years ago, I am no longer the weak women that I once was. You want to threaten me, go right ahead... you can do it while you sit in a 10x10 cell behind locked bars.
Because as Ive said.. I'M DONE! "

I proceeded to hang up. I sat at my desk just seething.. and the room was so quiet, that I thought maybe, just maybe everyone had gotten up and left.. you could of heard a pin drop! Oh no. not that lucky, all the sudden I hear.. "Way to go" "good for you" and other words of congratulations and what nots... I guess I wanted my voice to be heard!

He called and left me a voice mail here at work last night, blaming his life and all his mistakes on me. His transgressions are all my fault. Him being a worthless piece of human flesh, my fault. Him not being able to maintain a steady job due to his lack of commitment, my fault. Him not being able to maintain a relationship between any of his kids (he's got 4 all different mothers) my fault. Yes, you guessed it... everything is my fault.
It's a tough burden to carry on ones' shoulders. The ill will of someone else, all their faults, their life being a sorry state of repair, and for the longest time his little poor me attitude used to get to me and I would carry it all around.

But I'm hear to say.. NO MORE!! I'M DONE!!! I'M FREE!!!
I will NOT be the one to carry around his guilt and his failure at being a productive member of society!

Im F R E E !!!!

Tuesday nada

My last two post's have been random numbness entries..
because I have had nothing really to write about.. nothing to enlighten any of you
nothing to entertain you.. and sadly I still have nothing.

Although I do have some things on my mind.. Im not sure how to write what Im currently thinking about... how to form it all into words.. and coherant thoughts.
So.. if this post loses you. Im truly sorry.. but here goes.

Schools in, and Im busy..
with that being said.. Im also exhausted.
Where is the me time?
Ive lost me along the way.
Who am I?
What is my current goals in life?
Where is my enjoyment?
What is my enjoyment?
I just feel so lost!!!!

Life is good.. I mean I have my family & my health. I finally got all moved and me and the kids are good.
But.. who am I? Do you ever feel like you have lost a piece of you and w/out it you just cant seem to get motivated? To figure out what is missing, like it's an internal piece of your inner going ons? This piece of me that's missing, is it what keeps me going forward? Or because whatever is missing, is what is keeping me from moving forward? Because I just feel like I could curl up somewhere and just sleep.. for long long hours...days upon days..
Is it depression? And if so.. what do I have to be depressed about? I have the main concerns in life.. kids welfare, health blah blah blah...
home life.. bills.. blah blah blah.. other than that, nothing is out of sorts..
So whats my deal?
I just want to close my eyes.. and sleep..

Thought change:

An old friend of mine from days gone past contacted me. It was great to hear his voice and to catch up with him. He and I actually became friends because he married one of my good friends, but something happened, and like so many friendships.. it went wayside.. I would call.. talk to him, but she just all the sudden didnt want anything to do with me.. not sure why.. we live 6 hrs from each other, so our only communication was via phone.
Fast forward 3 yrs w/out a word from anyone, and he calls me outta the blue.. I guess they ended up divorcing (really sad, as they were a great couple) and he was headed to the Seattle area (Im outside Seattle) and wanted to meet up.
Well I wasnt in town that weekend, so we didnt get o meet up, but we have chatted on the phone and it was just great to re-connect with him. But I think I figured out what the deal was with his soon to be ex. Over the course of their relationship, he and I formed a strong bond ( I have always gotten along better w/men than woman anyway) and I did take his side in a few arguments that they had (this was back when they first got together and we all still lived in the same town) but damn it.. she was in the wrong and I did try to get her to see that.
Once I moved out of that state and headed back home.. I would call and he and I would just sit on the phone and chat and chat and chat. She was always to busy to talk to me, or wasnt home or whatever.. and her and my friendship dwindled to a nothingness existance.
But I think she may of thought that he and I ended up becoming more than friends? But how could that be possible? We never were.. I would never cross that line with a friend. NEVER....
hmmm.. it saddens me that they are no longer together, there are 3 children involved.. none together.. but he has 2 and she had 1. He did come w/his fair share of baggage into the relationship.. then again.. she had her fair share too..

Maybe it just wasnt ment to be.. the marriage for them..and our friendship too.. just makes me shake my head in wonderment..so many questions.. but no answers.

Thought change:

Lordy.. I dont feel well.. kind of feel like Im in some kind of fog world.

oh oh oh.. OMG.. I found a wolf spider crawling across my bathroom floor the other night.. that sucker was HUGE!!! I HATE spiders.. hate them, hate them, hate them.. this guy was so freaking big I about crawled out of my skin.. took everything I had not to scream like a little she-bitch.. cuz it was the middle of the night.. so yeah.. I had to scoop it up w/a wad of kleenex and flush him down the potty.. now my biggest fear is, it's gonna crawl back up the pipe and into my ass some night when I get up to pee.... (oh that thought had me clenching my butt cheeks together)

Ok.. well.. Im done.. there's more.. but Im sure ya'll dont have any wish to read what I have to say..
and if you made it this far.. word of advice.. dont kill spiders..
10 more come back in the dead one's place!!!

Peace

Pacific Northwest

You know you're from the Pacific Northwest When... (According To Jeff Foxworthy)

1. You know the state flower (Mildew).
2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means
4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
5. You know more people who own boats rather than air conditioners.
6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk"Signal.
8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it >is not a real mountain.
9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Veneto's.
10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon.
11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon,Yakima and Willamette.
12. You consider swimming an indoor sport
13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark-while only working eight-hour days.
15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
17. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
18. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
19. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot seethrough the cloud cover.
20. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
21. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka
22. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.
23. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
24. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
25. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.
26. You measure distance in hours.
27. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
28. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
29. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, StillRaining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall).
30. You actually understood these jokes and will probably forward them (well Im not forwarding them.. however.. I am definently from the Pacific Northwest!!!)

Peace!!!!

Sex & Calories

CALORIES BURNED DURING SEX!


REMOVING HER CLOTHES:

With her consent
12 Calories

Without her consent
2,187 Calories


OPENING HER BRA:

With both hands
8 Calories

With one hand
12 Calories

With your teeth
485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:

With an erection
6 Calories

Without an erection
3,315 Calories

POSITIONS:

Missionary
12 Calories

69 lying down
78 Calories

69 standing up
812 Calories

Wheelbarrow
216 Calories

Doggy Style
326 Calories

Italian chandelier
2,912 Calories

ORGASMS:

Real
112 Calories

Fake
1,315 Calories

POST ORGASM:

Lying in bed hugging
18 Calories

Getting up immediately
36 Calories

Explaining why you got out of bed immediately
816 Calories


GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:

If you are:

20-29 years
36 Calories

30-39 years
80 Calories

40-49 years
124 Calories

50-59 years
1,972 Calories

60-69 years
7,916 Calories

70 and over
Results are still pending


DRESSING AFTERWARDS:

Calmly..
32 Calories

In a hurry
98 Calories

With her father knocking at the door
5,218 Calories

With your wife knocking at the door
13,521 Calories

Results may vary!


THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD

Right now, as you read this,
69 Million Americans are having SEX!
And you're on the computer!!!

9/11

R.I.P

You will not be forgotten
To all those who lost their lives..
To all those who risked their lives...

You will forever be with in my heart
And with in the hearts of many others.

Peace!

I recieved the following via email from my mother...
I am a supporter of our soldiers.. the men & women who give up their lives daily for our Freedom...

"Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001?

Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was "desecrated" when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?...Well, I don't. I don't care at all.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia .

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called "insurgents" in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.

I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.

When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed "special" food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being "mishandled," you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled "Koran" and other times "Quran." Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and-you guessed it-I don't care !!

"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem" -- Ronald Reagan

I have another quote that I would like to add.......

"If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under." Also by.. Ronald Reagan

One last thought for the day:

In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America, he said: "A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out."

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you: 1. Jesus Christ 2. The American G. I.

One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

This & That.. TMI

Long weekends are great, the sucky part is the getting up and coming back to work piece.
But on the happy side of that, is Im off the rest of the week, heading down to Oregon to finish the meat head up, and get him to Eukunuba... cross your fingers and toes.. that this will get him the needed points, cuz Im gettin tired!!!

Other than that, my weekend consisted of nothing.. nada, zip, zilch, zero. It was freaking awesome!!!

But, alas Im tired again, is it cuz Im stuck at work?

We had some awesome thunder & lightening last night, I love love love good thunder storms.. I opened the blinds, turned off all the sound & lights and just layed in bed watching the show out the window. Beautiful!

Ok.. TMI Tuesday.. here ya go

1. What did you eat for dinner yesterday?
Um, dinner well, my son wanted to make dinner so I let him, he ground up some hamburger, made some mashed potatoes.. mixed them together, and threw on some shredded cheese.. yep.. I call it, Wonder Mutt suprise... it was eatable..

2. How much cash is in your purse/wallet right now?
LOL.. I dont carry cash.. I spend it to quickly.. my last $6 was spent last night when the girl child hijacked it to pay for the ice cream truck....

3. What have you done to avoid being flirted with by someone you didn't like?
I tell them to go away.. seriously.. just stop talking, turn around, and go away... not interested, Im not gonna change my mind.. so shut up..and go away.. if they still dont hear me.. I just will walk away...

4. Do you believe the theory "Once a cheater always a cheater"?
hmmmm...this is a hard question.. I mean.. some people just have made some really bad choices, and thought what they were doing was in their best interest, come to find out it all blew up in their face and they learned a really rough/tough life lesson and realized that it's not good to be the cheater... then again.. some have made the choice to do so, and continue doing so, something about the thrill I suppose.. but.. a leopard doesnt change his spots, he just rearranges them.. is a pretty true statement. I mean, if they have never been caught they figure they can continue to do so, and dont care about other peoples feelings, they only seem to care about their own gratification. Did I answer the question?

5. Describe your sex life in two words.
Right now, my sex life is between me and Bob.. (battery operated boyfriend)
I turn him on when I want
Off when I want
I tell him what to do, when to do it, how to do it, where to do it
As long as I want, or as quick as I want...
But.. it does get a little old after a while.. sometimes, and it's few and far between, I miss having that someone next to me in bed.. but.. then I end up fighting over blankets and pillows, and listening to someone else snore, or their feet touching me..
ok ok ok.. like I said.. it's few and far between I have those moments of missing someone...

Bonus (as in optional): Would you/have you ever paid money for sex?
LOL.. no.. I get sex for free..
however when I was living w/family.. my beneficial friend and I used to take turns on who was paying for the hotel room.. I used to joke with him when it was my turn to pay that I was paying for sex... and therefor, I better get my money's worth..LOL..
the answer is Yes.. I would get my money's worth...LMAO!!!!

Peace everyone!!!!

Inner Peace

By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr.Phil proclaimed,
"The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished."

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning,
I finished off a bottle of Merlot,
a bottle of White Zinfandel,
a bottle of Bailey's,
a bottle of Kahlua,
a package of Oreos,
the remainder of my old Prozac prescription,
the rest of the cheesecake,
some Doritos and a box of chocolates.

You have NO idea how incredibly calm I feel.


Have a Great Weekend..

Peace!!!!!

Insane Ramblings from a blonde

My work week is taking forever to be over with, it seems that it just keeps going and going and going and going. I swear it's Friday, and yet, it's only Thursday. Will the week ever end?
Yet, I am happy at the fact it's a 3 day weekend.. and then work one day next week, and I'm off to Oregon for a few days. So that will be nice & semi-relaxing.

The big dumb meat head (the dog) is currently 22 in the Nation.. YEAH HIM..
he needs a few more points to get to the Eukunuba show in Long Beach in December.. which I have complete faith in him.. and he will pull it off, and then we are off and running...

Bailey, the meat heads sister, finally went into heat, so she was bred last night... cross your fingers and toe's that it took. I was really worried that she wouldn't be receptive of Bear's attentions (the stud we bred her to) but holy wow.. did she like him near her rear end!!! She was waggin her tail, and putting her butt in his face.. he was all happy like.. licking her, and trying to body slam her into submission... he's a .. lets get it on, head to a dark corner and go go go go..
Bailey, is more of a lady, she wanted some foreplay.. and nice and slow.. sooooo.. when Bear tried to mount.. she wasn't quit ready as it was just a little to quick for her!!! So a little AI (artificial insemination) and hopefully we will have some puppies in 9-10 weeks!!!

Went camping this last weekend... Saturday night, I was walking down some stairs thought I was on the bottom one.. and Barney went flying.. and I wasn't even drunk.. that's the worse part, I had only had 1/2 a beer.. didn't spill a drop when I fell tho!!! :)
Sprained my right ankle.. and hyper-extended my knee.. finally went to the Dr on Tuesday.. only because my ankle was the size of a watermelon. I hate the Dr.s office.. I love my Dr... just hate going to the Dr. Anyhow, just a small amount of pain, but not to bad.

School starts in a few days, I'm happy, but I'm not.. I haven't even finished all the school shopping, so I guess were headed this weekend to finish what needs to be done.. Cha-Ching.. money money money.. I better win the damn Mega-Million Lotto.. I'm not greedy... I would be more than happy with a half a million!!!

The boy is in Football, I think this will be his new calling, he's really really into it. The last few years it had been baseball, which he still enjoys, but not as much at football. They started practice this last Monday, from 1-4... he pushed himself so hard on Tuesday that he made himself puke.. the coach was so proud of him.. kept tellin him what a good job he was doing, and it's good that hes' pushing himself that hard. Gets his pads and stuff today... had to be at the school at 9.. I was worried about getting there, but he and I had a long chat and decided he could ride his bike to school.

Now.. we live maybe 2 miles from school, down a hill, across a busy intersection, and then down a busy rural road, that has a very very small bike lane.
But you know, when I was around that age, I rode my bike everywhere (granted I was also smoking pot by his age) so I guess it is time, to let him start gaining a small small piece of independence.. (insert teary eyes here) my baby is growing up!!!

The girl, she joined cheer leading thru the youth football association.. they really push those girls, they range in age from 6 to 14. They run laps around the track, then practice for 2 hrs, 3x a week. Not to mention when they have to cheer for the games. The stupid cheer uniform, a tiny little skirt, and a shirt.. cost me $150!!! Can u believe that? Absolutely asinine!!!! But, she's really enjoying it, and her attitude is really changing, it's so weird to see her maturing right before my eyes! She is a big girl for her age... she is almost 11.. stands almost 5'4, and weights, just a little to much.. were working on that.. but.. she's a very strong little girl.. like her mother, she is freakishly strong.. so they have her on the bottom of the pyramids...
Its just weird, cuz I really hated the jocks and cheerleaders when I went to school.. when I actually showed up to school..

They were all stuck up, high society, snobs.. and it bothered me how they felt they were so much better than everyone else.. and now.. 20 yrs later.. I have a son who is a jock, and a daughter who is a cheerleader.. oh my, the higher powers that be, really have a wicked sense of humor!

Well, I guess that's about it, I just rambled on. I have a few more memories that I remembered that I will be posting this weekend. They come and go, the smallest things can make me remember something that was life changing, or just a damn good time. If you made it this far, congratulations.. brownie points to you!

Have a wicked Labor Day weekend!!!!

I was tagged!!!!

*What side of the heart do you draw first?
The Right side - cuz well I'm of the right mind.. right??

*Can you dive without plugging your nose?
yep

*What color is your phone?
my home phone is black, my cell is maroon

*Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
well here's a good question.. I don't rightly know.. is this just about having sex w/them.. to communicate with verbally.. or what...

*Where are you right now?
work.. oh joy..work work work

How do you feel about carrots?
I feel that they are misunderstood.. we as a nation need to stand up and embrace our orange little friends.. there not just for rabbits anymore!!!

*How many chairs at the dining room table?
none.. I just moved, bought the table, but didnt have enough cash to buy the chairs yet.. so..we eat at the coffee table.. no family dinners for this family

*Who is the best Spice Girl?
I could really care less.. I'm not a spice girl fan.. so um.. yeah.. not gonna even attempt to figure out who is the best.

*Do you know what time it is?
Time for you to obviously buy a damn watch..

*What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
dependant upon alone or with someone.. and who that someone is..

*What's your favorite kind of gum?
the kind you chew.. as of right now, I'm an orbit girl.. although.. I love trident too... and whats ever on sale!!!!

*T or F: All is fair in love and war?
is this a trick question? I'm pleading the 5th on this.. no answer...
mainly..I don't really believe in love at this point and moment in my life.. so.. yeah... no answer

*Do you use words that you don't know the meaning to?
no.. I don't like to make myself look like a fool.. but I make up a lot of my own words... I'm cool like that..


*Do you like to sleep?
I do.. but Im not one of those that can lay in bed all day.. my eyes pop open no matter what by 7am... drives me in sane!!!!

*Do you know which US states don't use Daylight Savings?
I know Arizona doesn't.. but I think there's one more.. I wanna say Idaho.. but I dont know if thats correct..

*Do you know the song Sugar We're Goin' Down?
umm....no.. but.. I love both sugar and goin down.. so.. sing it baby!!!!

*Do you want a bright yellow '06 mustang?
is it free? cuz Im all about free...

*What's something you've always wanted?
millions.. I want to be worry free of money.. meaning.. I want a ton of money!!

*Do you wear a lot of black?
I do...

*Describe your hair.
blond, mid back.. long.. I usually pull the sides up, cuz it's really thick..and heavy.. but I refuse to cut it..cuz I dont do change well... but I look pretty damn good when I take my time to actually do my hair!!!

*Are you an adult?
That's what Im told.. but.. I try not to act old.. although some days I really feel old

*Who is/are your best friends?
Sue is my BFF... she and I have been friends since we were 5.. amazing really... but I can tell her anything w/out her judging me.. but I have a few really close friends too

*Do you have a tan?
I actually do, which is amazing, cuz I hate to tan, and Im one white bitch when I dont!!!

*Are you a television addict?
addict is a little strong, but I do love to watch some good tv!!!

*Do you enjoy spending time with your mom?
I love my mom.. I really do.. but.. that women can also drive me insane!!! there is a reason why we live on two separate Oceans.. and we meet up twice a year... but we talk weekly on the phone..

*Are you a sugar freak?
yes and no.. there are certain times of the month I go on a sugar binge.. but.. only 4 days outta the month.. LOL

*What is your favorite movie?
I dont have a fav... movies..like music.. is a mood thing, it just all depends on my mood, but there are movies that I will watch over and over.. Hope Floats is a great one.. and I liked The Notebook..then again, I enjoy the Harry Potter series too.. and Talladaga Nights.. that was funny!!!!

*What's your sign?
um.. Bill Engvall hasnt given me a sign yet..
Libra

*Where do you wish you were right now?
anywhere but where Im currently at.. most would say a nice tropical warm place.. but.. in all honesty..I wanna go to Ireland..

*Who did you copy this from? Weekends..

*How do you know them? Blogger USA!!!!

*Would you have sex with them?
Well now thats' a little personal dont ya think.. I dont think it's any of your damn business.. jealousy will get you know where!!!

*What brand of shirt are you wearing?
a blue button up cotton tank, that I stole from my sister n law about 3 yrs ago.. I hate shopping.. hate it, hate it, hate it!!! Im not normal..I know.. but it depresses me.. between the prices, and people, and rude ass sales clerks.. I just hate shopping... plus, why do they seem to think that women with a little extra.. want to wear big fucking floral prints.. umm...HELLO.. clothing industry.. those fucking flowers strategically put right where my boobs are.. ARE NOT ATTRACTIVE!!! My ta-ta's are already big enough..I dont need some fucking ficus where my nipples are.. enough said!!!

*Have you ever smoked anything?
aaahhh.. the truth question.. yes.. I used to smoke pot, daily.. multiple times a day..
I used to smoke my pot rolled in meth.. a few times a day..
I used to smoke hash too, although that shit tasted nasty.. so I didnt smoke alot.. just when it was free and available.. and I needed something..
today.. Im still addicted to nicotine.. Im getting better.. but.. Ive beat everything else.. so.. I dont think it's that bad.. I mean, it's still bad.. but Im cutting back..Im down to 4 a day.. unless Im stressed.. and well then.. we wont go there...

Oh..that's all.. Im done? I was just gettin into this..
well..Im suppose to tag someone.. but what Im gonna do.. is leave it open..
if you wanna play.. well go for it.. its great for writers block.. (hint hint April & Mr. Beetle)
if not.. hope you enjoyed and thanks for stopping by..

Peace

HANG ON!!! Help is coming!!!!

This picture lightens my mood..



And just remember..



HANG ON...



Help is coming!!!!

In other news...











Here's a pic of the Do Wa.. the biker gathering I attend yearly...
Im in the picture.. can u find me?????
This was taken from the stage.. where the boobie contest was being held..
Where's Waldo??? I mean.. Where's Barney???

Im trying to push my way thru the mob to get to the front to stand next to the guy in the black cowboy hat.. whose working security infront of the stage...

Can u find me??? You cant can you.. it's ok...
I really dont wish to be found... haha...

Happy Thursday all!!!!

A rose by any other name.... is just a huge THORN

Nothing to really write about, the apartment is working out well, I didn't realize before moving in however how small the kitchen is. Or that there is no storage space, or the fact that I have way to much crap.

I'm finding things that I had forgotten all about, things from my childhood, or from my children's wee years on this earth. It's been fun to find lost treasure's and yet, it's been depressing at times too. Looking at old family photos' of when me and their fathers were together, the days prior to them turning into worthless turds. The memento's have to be kept for the wee ones, as much as I would love to tear them up and start a fire with them.. I wont.. I keep holding myself back.. and I wont.

Other than that, nothing.. absolutely nothing has been going on in my life. Sad really. I have found I'm so much more content to go home after work, relax w/a Corona or a nice glass of wine and just chill w/the wee one's talking, laughing, or watching some stupid show on the tube. Although w/school getting ready to start up here soon, those nights of going straight home will be ceasing soon.. the girl is in cheer leading.. practice 3x a week and the boy will be starting football soon.. practice every night after school not to mention both of them will have to be at games.

I guess I should suck it up now.. and enjoy it... cuz the days are coming when they wont want Mommy around, and they will be embarrassed by my existence. So.. I know, just cherish these memories, and blah blah blah...

I really need some extra curricular activities in my life too.. a little sheet action.. it's been to long.. sometimes it makes me think whats wrong w/me? Then I sit back and realize, that I got rid of all my "buddies" because a few of them turned into clingy little women.. and well I wasn't having any part of that!!! So.. I ditched them.. and well.. with today and all the freaks out there I just haven't gone an dug up anymore.. I do still have one, but he and I work such opposite schedules, and there is the distance thing it's hard to get together with him... but everyone cross your fingers and pray that this Friday.. I will get some much needed exercise.. LOL!!!

OK.. I'm out..

Peace

I be moved!!!

Hi ya'll...

The move went well, I never did realize how much shit I owned. No major causalities.. well except for my concussion.. but other than that... ok ok..
the story behind the concussion..
My ex packed the storage unit.. and he's just a great guy that he packed it so freaking badly that the stuff was just thrown into it... anyhow.. the door to the storage unit got stuck half way up, and came off the tracks, so I had to get the maintenance people to come and fix that.. then.. when I was moving things out, I grabbed a couch cushion that was stuffed up towards the top of the roof started wiggling it back and forth to pull it down, and well my ex had put a picture frame up there... and the frame came down and smacked me right in the forehead...

I have a lovely goose egg and bruise, and the glass from the frame went everywhere...
Anyhow.. other than that, I broke all my finger nails...
and I'm bruised from the top of my body, to the souls of my feet..
But I'M MOVED!!!!

Things are starting to look good at home, the apartment is nice and roomy...
I'm getting things put away... have just a few boxes to go thru, but they are boxes of baby items.. either the wee children's, or stuff from my childhood..

Thank you to everyone for your well wishes.. now I have to go and do some work, because even tho I had 2 back ups while I was gone.. I have over 1000+ emails to dig thru, and issues that only the customers feel I can help with..
I guess it's good to be liked in your job!!!

I will get to your blogs soon..
TTYL
Peace!!!

Im outta here..just like that!!!

Ok everyone..

Moving day is just around the corner.. less than 48 hrs..
Im both excited and nervous..
but.. I know out of all 4 of my readers, you can understand both...
and if you do.. please explain the nerves.. anyhow..

Im off work all next week, and I havnt gotten the puter hooked up at home yet.
not sure exactly when either, it's kind of an un-warranted expense right now.
But.. I will check in sometime next week.

Take care.. thanks for all the words of insight & wisdom & silliness.

and ttyl!!!!

Peace!!!

5 Random Questions...

I had requested AR (Amourous Rocker, sorry I cant figure out how to link people.. Im just not that smart!) to hit me up w/5 questions.. and oh boy did she!!! Thank you for the questions, they really made me dig a little deeper into myself..
So.. here they are.. and here I go..

Interview rules:

• Leave me a comment saying “Interview me next" or "Hit me with your best shot" or something along those lines letting me know you're down to be questioned. :D
• I’ll respond by commenting back on your blog with your five questions. I get to pick the questions.
• You will then update your blog with a post containing your the answers to the questions.
  You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
  When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

1. What is your happiest memory so far this year?
My happiest memory this year, there have been so many.. but most of them are trivial. then again, how can they be trivial if they made me happy? To pick one particular memory doesn't do justice to the others. So how can I choose just one? My kids I guess make me the happiest. Watching them succeed at things that they find difficult. So, I'm going to pick watching my son not step out of the batters box, and actually connecting w/that ball and hitting deep left field to make a home run. That was extremely exciting. Then the next (as they both run parrell) is watching my daughter do her first dance recital in front of 500 people. Two of my most fondest memories this year!

2. What are you addicted to?
I currently have two nasty vices. Smoking & coffee, although is coffee really a nasty vice? The smoking is slowly cutting down, but after all my other addictions in life that I have over come, I think I'm doing pretty damn good. I gave up meth, acid & pot, which were three of my most favorite forms of entertainment back when I was a teenager. But, I can honestly say that I have been clean and sober off the drugs now for hmmm... almost 15 yrs.. is that right, has it been truly that long.. ooohhh..YEAH ME!!! (sorry, just had to pat myself on the back there)

3. If you could take 2 personality traits you posses and change them in for 2 different traits, what would you change and why?
My Anger - I wish I could take my anger and turn it into serenity/contentment. I have dealt with anger issues since I was a just a wee one. As I grew older I would have black outs and hurt either myself, someone else, or break things. I went thru anger management when I was around 14, due to some home life issues and I did learn self-control. But there are days when I can feel the anger swirling inside of me. It takes everything I have to control myself. One of these days I'm so afraid of just snapping and letting loose. But, I haven't done that now in years (last time I ended up in juvi) every day is a new day and I keeping thanking the higher powers that be for that control.

Im really having a hard time w/the second trait, cuz it makes me realize who I truly am. So many things come to mind, my bitchiness, my self esteem, my bitterness...oooh.. that's the one.. my bitterness. Im a bitter person towards people who screw with me and whats mine. I wish I could take that bitterness and turn it into indifference. To allow it to be like water on a ducks back, just let it roll right off me and disappear. But I hold grudges to those to do me wrong or hurt my loves. I tend to get even one way or another, actually, I really do believe in Karma.. and I know some day, they will get theirs, and I have seen them get theirs, but I shouldnt be so ecstatic when it does happen.. Im evil.. I need to really find that happy medium!

4. You have free and unlimited access for 3 days to a private jet and money isn't an object, where are you going?

1) Sweden - My mother's family is originally from Sweden, they came over in the 1800s and settled in MN, my Great-Grandmother was disowned when my Great-Grandfather passed away. The story goes, that when he passed away, it was the way of the old, that if there was an unmarried brother, then he was to take over the family care of the one who was deceased. Well when my Great Uncle came to take my Great Grandmother home, she basically told him to go um.. well F himself .. so she was disowned along w/her 2 children... so I have a ton of family there and I would love to go and meet them

2) Egypt - my son is infatuated with the Pharaohs and Egypt and the tombs and temples. I think it would be an awesome trip to go explore all the ruins.

3) Money not being an object, I would like to travel the U.S. and attempt to help the homeless youth. From my own experiences I want to attempt in some form or fashion to help the youth to get off the streets, off the drugs and help them become successful in life.

5. What are 3 of the most important things to you in life currently?

1) My family - they are the world to me, w/out my children and my family I wouldn't be here.
2) My dog - I love that jumping little flea.. my daughter rescued her from an abusive home.. I feel a kinship w/the dog, she was an outcast and now she's loved and wanted.. I love animals more than most people..
3) My blogger buddies - I look forward every morning for the silliness, words of wisdom & insight. I feel that w/out the land of blogger so many people would be lost and would end up holding in what should be let out. So many would end up pulling the rifle out on top of the local Dairy Queen and taking pop shots at the double dipped chocolate cones that walk out the swinging doors. That's just not acceptable, we as a society really need to leave the double dipped chocolate cones alone..

Monday Madness..

I got these from Weekends.. I picked last weeks' cuz I liked the questions better than this weeks.. I may do this weeks too.. but I dont know.. Im flighty like that.. so there....

1. Do you feel that children these days are disciplined enough?
No, I feel that kids now days have no respect for their elders, no respect or common courtesy for those around them. They seem to expect their parents to bend over backwards and hand them what ever they want on a silver platter. For example... my son came home last year, and asked me if I even loved him... "where is this coming from"
Well turns out, a kid at school told him that I didnt love him because I wouldnt buy him anything he wanted, that kid's parents bought him whatever he wanted.
My son asked him when was the last time him and his parent sat down to a family dinner and just talked, about the day, school issues, the news going on in the world.
To which the kid replied, I dont talk to my parents... the work all the time.

My point exactly, to many parents have demanding jobs, leaving their kids as latch key children, or just leaving them alone. Trust me I get the demands of the job I get all that.. but you do NOT buy your kid whatever they want.. it's just a way to shut them up, and to clear your conscious...
ok.. soap box..

2. What are your thoughts about the "time out chair?"
I think it works to a point, but after awhile, what's the big deal about time outs? Depending on the crime, depends on the punishment. For small children, I would say up to maybe 2nd grade, the time out chair is effective.. but after that.. it would be dependable against the crime.

3. When YOU were a child, what form of discipline did your parents use most often?
Ha!!! When I was younger, there was very little punishment for me, I was a good wee child.. then again I was raised with the fear of God. He would spite me, and if I wasnt careful he would knock me down. As I got older, grade school I would say.. it was the image of the wooden spoon that terrified me. Thankfully it was never used on my ass.. but I had seen it's mark left upon my brother a time or two..

As I got older, and I become more problematic.. it was belt buckles on bare ass, willow switches that I had to pick from the tree,hairbrushes that didnt brake, spatulas, sometimes whatever was in reach of my father when he felt that I needed a good "smack".... once or twice it was a slap from a hand.. and I believe there was a fist once too..

4. Did your parents have to constantly remind you of the guidelines they set for you, or did they just have to LOOK at you as a "gentle" reminder?
No... it was well ingrained into us children you treat your elders w/respect, and you use ALL your manners around others, yes please, no thank you, yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, no ma'am. whatever the case may be, I was a very polite child, even when I was doing drugs and strung out.. I still used my manner.. I think that's the one thing all that church going did for me..

5. What are your thoughts about screaming kids in public places?
It depends.. really it does.. if you just told the kid no.. and it starts screaming.. well pick it up and go outside.. dont walk around the damn store letting the kid throw a fit.. holy hell..no one else wants to hear it.. duh!!!! How many times I have left a cart sitting in the middle of a walk way and just walked out of a store because my daughter decided to throw a fit??? Gawd Im so glad her wee years are over.. now.. I will just leave her there :)
If the kid has fallen out the back of a shopping cart because of parental neglect.. then.. throw the parent down and let them hit their head and see how it feels..
oh wait, I got off topic...sorry..
Take the kid either outside, or into a restroom.. calm them down.. again..no one wants to hear it... babies are different, anything under the age of a yr old.. that doesnt count.. but over that.. you can talk to them.. and get them to calm down..

6. What do you feel is the BIGGEST mistake parents make when it comes to disciplining children?
Ignoring what is going on.. I did that for years w/my son.. until he was almost 4.. I figured he did no wrong.. and as he got older it got worse. It took 2 yrs of me constantly on his ass, all the time, day or night to get things turned around.. little did I realize I was making things worse by not doing anything.. OMG.. he was a holy terror..
He's 13 now, people are amazed at how well mannered he is, well behaved, polite, kind blah blah blah.. Im proud of both he and I.. we came along way.
Same thing w/my daughter.. but I think that's the biggest problem.. there is no discipline in society.. I truly believe there is nothing wrong w/a good swat on the ass.. Society has taken discipline away from the schools... taken it virtually away from the parents... so now we have all these kids out there that have no respect for anything.. not for whats around them, whose around them not even for themselves.

What the hell kind of world are we giving to our kids?

Tumbeling tumble weeds

I have been living w/family for the last year. It's been a hectic, stressful home life for me and my wee ones. However Im happy to report that I finally have decided that my bills are paid enough to take the plunge into a single home life w/just me and them.

So as of tomorrow at 4:30 PST, I will have signed my life away for a 3 bedroom/2 bath, 1212 sq ft apartment. $400 more a month than a pay now, but.. it will be mine.. and I will be able to do as I please. Have friends over for dinner and drinks, allowed to lay on my couch and watch what I please. If I find it necessary I can run the house in my t-shirt and shorts and not wear my bra!
Oh the freedom that I will have once again!!!

Moving in w/family met dual roles. Helping both of us out of some finicial situations. But a time comes when one must fly away.. and I thank my family for all they have done not just for me, but for the wee-ones too.

Time to spread my wings, get my life out of a 10x10 storage unit and lay in my own bed! It will be like Christmas.. only in July, as I havnt seen most of my things in over a year. To be surrounded by MY things. My couch, my bed, my dishes, my pictures, mine mine mine mine mine!!!! Yep.. ALL MINE!!!

I will be taking the last week of July off.. 7/30-8/3.. to unpack, put away, throw away and relax when I can.. to become one w/my new surroundings.. and be happy happy happy.. Im truly hoping this will help w/that red hue of anger that is always on the out skirts of my mind.

Peace

Do Wa Diddy.. Diddy dum diddy do!!! Adult Content!!!

Good Day all..

There be the girls.. that's them in all their fine glory.. that would be the night before the do wa... when they were still clean, and un marked.. cuz you see.. when the Do Wa hit's.. the sharpie pens and mardi-gras beads come out.. and well.. I eneded up w/20 signatures this year.. I even de-virginized a couple guys w/sharpie tittie signing.. 101!!! hahahaha..
ok.. so be nice w/your comments.. remember.. everyone has to PLAY NICE!!!!


Do Wa updates coming at you..


I apologize, as I havnt downloaded any pictures.. there was alot of jello shots going thru the weekend.. I started my day off at 10 am, w/a nice shot of jello, followed by a tall cup of Bacardi & coke.. it's my favorite drink!!!





I would say a little over 1100 bikers and their friends showed up. I do believe a good time was had by all... many many pictures were taken, I think I even vaguely remember my face squished between two set's of breast's.... w/my tongue sticking out.. haha.. I love boobs!!! And Im female!!!





Other than that... there were no issues, never usually is, which in it's self is kind of amazing when you get that many people together, all drinking and you get different types of "groups" together.

We raised almost $400 for the wet t-shirt contest.. My dad is the MC for that tittie contest, he is the biggest perv I have ever met, yet he does it in such a tastful way.. that's my Daddy.. and I love him :) I got to work security during the tittie contest, stand at the base of the stage and push people back when they get to close.. One of the other guys working w/me, yelled at me to turn around during the show.. and I turned, and there was a cooch right in my face.. that was a little more than I bargained for.. LOL.. he laughed and laughed.. thought that was hilarious...haha.. yeah.. not so much.. I love boobs.. but Im not really into other womens cooch.. call me weird.. but.. not my thing.. another gal got up to dance, and she decided that she needed to strip too.. until this stench went thru the wind.. OMG!!! I yelled up at her to wash that thing, it smelled vile... like rotten fish... sweat...mildew.. Im gagging just thinking about it.. blah!!!!





Anyhow.. some guy attatched himself to my hip.. he was a cutie, drunker than anything, and a little psycho.. I loved him.. he was freaking hilarious... he even sucked on my nipple.. hehe.. I get a little crazy at these things... he had friends who made a spody (sp?) damn..it was nummers... I drank that, ate the fruit.. and drank some more..





I think I finally got to sleep around 3:30 that morning.. I know more happened.. but.. Im sorry to say, I was I N T O X I C A T E D!!! and bit's and pieces are slamming back into my head at odd hours.. haha..




As more memories come crashing in.. and pictures come available.. I shall update..

Peace

What's up w/the title bar? Like I need this frustration today..
asshats!!!!

ok..so Yadda yadda yadda.. blah blah blah..
that's the mood.. w/a touch of anger twinning its way thru... loving the red streak of anger.. just put's me on edge!!!!

Where to start..
Happy Belated Birthday America.. I spent the 4th of July driving.. to Canada..
Oh Canada....lalalalala.. sorry..dont know anymore than that..

Driving thru some mountain pass on our way to Vernon BC... tried to kill ourselves.
Ive had near death experiences, however, I dont think I have EVER put my childrens lives at risk before, and that was a whole new out of body experience. Driving down an 8% downgrade, going into a little town call Princeton.. the motor-home decided it didnt want to slow down or stop. Down shifted, it wouldnt slow down.. pumping the brakes, no help.. in 1st gear, standing on the brakes, locked the damn things up, switchbacks... Oh God!!! We were all gonna die!!!
But.. thank God.. we didnt.. but it was an extremely scary situation.. brakes were checked in the next town and they were good to go.. so we moved forward to our final destination....
Camping, swimming, dog show.. our meathead did well, he got dumped the first day, won his class and took reserve the second day, and the third day he won his class, and got best opposite (beat by a bitch) - drive home was hot, humid, sticky but un-eventful..

Other than that.. my life aint shit.. sad huh?!
this weekend I am headed to a little biker gathering in a small southern town of WA...
Do Wa Diddy baby!!! OMG.. I will download pics and write about that when I get back on Monday.. The Do Wa is always a good time, it's my job to obtain money for the "titty" contest, now see, in order for money to be gathered for the winners, one has to go around and "show their goods" I have NO problem flashing, there just boobs, and well even if I do say so myself, I have a nice set of ta-ta's... :) (if I get enough encouragment.. I may just post them here) And well, my dad sends me off to take donations from our fellow bikers!!!! There are anywhere between 700-1200 bikers that show for this event, a good time is had by all.. my other responsibilities are to be security.. now if you knew me, you would understand that I have NO issue here either, I have no problem getting in the face of some drunken 300lb dude... I should probably have some fear.. but I dont, maybe it's because of my past experiences.... or.. maybe Im just stupid!!!

Havnt heard from my fuck buddy.. well I have, maybe 2 emails, but nothing inviting, just a "had a great time, lets do it again" and a "hi" email.. that's it.. I did however hear from his cousin, wanting to know why I would meet up w/the f-buddy but not w/him.. as I told him, could be because the cousin is married and the f-buddy aint.. yeah.. I think that's a good answer!!!

Ok.. I think that's about it. Im looking so forward to a weekend of no kids, adult drunken conversation, the twins coming out, as they need some fresh air, and if I get really lucky, I will have some drunken adult action in a hot tent.. well.. that usually doesnt happen, only because Ive noticed in my old age Im starting to get a little picky when it comes to dropping my knickers! LOL

Peace
Me

TMI... on Wednesday

1. Does the carpet match the drapes?
Im blonde.. the carpet used to be blonde... but over the years of shaving, then growing back, and re-shaving.. Ive noticed that it's now a mixture of blonde & light brown..with some darker hairs mixed in too.. but I guess that's normal right?
2. Have you ever used personal information about someone to blackmail them?
No.. I have stuff I could use on people.. more than I wanna know about some people.. but.. why would I blackmail them? There really is no need, it's their shit, their backyard, my theory is, that they day they hit judgment door, it's the higher powers that be who needs to figure it out. Not me!!!
3. What is your favorite thing to lick?
I really enjoy giving head.. I enjoy hearing him, and feeling his hands on my head, and looking up and seeing the look on his face. Adding a little extra flavor doesnt hurt either, whether it be whip cream, chocolate sauce or some sort of added flavor from your local sex shop..
4. Have you ever had sex in a place of worship? (i.e., church, temple, mosque, etc.)
What kind of question is this? Um.. NO!!! Hell, I walk into a church Im sure the lightening rod's will strike me dead before I ever even reach the pews...let alone to strip and get nasty.. no.. that's just all kinds of WRONG!!!
5. If you watch video porn, do you buy it in a store, from a catalog, online, or download it?
Ive bought one porn video in my life.. and it was the most boring porn Ive ever seen.. so I rent them from my local Dick does Jane video store.. sometimes there good, sometimes there bad, sometimes they make me laugh.. you know it's a good porn when all the sudden Im all over him and I cant get enough!!!!

;)Bonus (as in optional): How often, if ever, do you "fake it?"
hmmm... if it's the right guy, and he's doing what he needs to do, Im not faking it AT ALL!!!

Drama

Hi all...

It's been crazy around here, with school getting out, end of year baseball tourney's (which we lost!!) Dance recitals, birthdays, dog shows. And well.. Im plum tuckered out!!!

So.. a brief update.. I GOT LAID!!!
Yeah.. for me it's a HUGE occurance.. well because.. it's been so damn long!!!
Saturday night, he clld me out of the blue, hadnt talked to him in a long time. He called, said he would be in town, and he would call me when he got in town.. umm..ok.. usually I dont believe a word he says, cuz well, he lives about 30 min from me, and normally doesnt make it down to my neck of the woods.. and/or.. doesnt actually show..

Among all the drama Saturday night, w/my BFF (best friend forever) it being her B-day... her in-laws invited themselves along.. and well.. they normally dont get along sober, you throw some alcohol in on that equation, and the night turned into a fucking drama-fest!!!
Lets just say, it was a full blown, screamin match at the bar, so dear ol' me got to break it up, and drive the drunken people home (luckily I wasnt drinkin) he calls me just as I get back to the bar, he's getting into town.. so I run in, slam a few drinks, cuz well.. everyone needs liquid courage..

Then we headed to a hotel, and that fine piece of man ROCKED MY WORLD!!! Just thinking about it is making my nether regions tingle!!!! and D A M N.. I want M O R E!!!!

We had a long talk inbetween sessions, and he proceeded to tell me that Im not the normal type of "white women" who fall's for a "black man"... ok.. um.. he blew me away with that.. cuz.. well.. I didnt realize there was a "type"??? So.. what in the hell did he mean by that? Yes, of course I asked him.. he just said that I dont fit the typical mold! HUH?
Well, he distracted me by this point.. and we didnt get to end the conversation...
But, it's got me perplexed... what does he mean by that? Please someone explain it to me....

Then we got into the whole discussion about trying other things... meaning, he's been invited to this place, that's semi-local, where it's all about "adult entertainment" ... oh hell, Im trying as delicate as possible of describing it.. but.. whatever.. the Redmond Ranch, it's a large house, that offers the swinger lifestyle...the whole partner swap kind of thing.. now.. yes, Ive had three-somes.. and well.. it's a mind set, ok for some, not for others.. personally, I dont think I could watch my guy fuck someone else.. however.. I wasnt in a relationship during the time I had my three-somes.. it was me, a good male friend of mine and his girlfriend (and I will say.. that girl knew what to do with her tongue!!!) anyhow.. it was an interesting evening.. and.. well, I kind of think I would go there again, only a little more sober, as I was pretty wasted my first time and I would like to "remember" a little more!!!!

Oh, sorry, I totally got side tracked (Im on a work conf call... typing this out and not paying any kind of attention.. bad bad me)
Anyhow.. so, he was asking me if I would be interested in attending a "party" with him..the way he explained it, is he doesnt want to sleep w/anyone else, he perfers the whole voyeur side of things, he likes it when guys hit's on "his women" and not that he wants me to do anything w/anyone else.. but, he wouldnt object to me giving him a blow job while others watch...... hmmmmmmmmmm.... I dont have an issue w/sex or my body, and I realize it's a chose lifestyle for others..and well.. Ive had sex in the same room w/others.. but as I get older, Im realizing Im turning into, more of a me & him... or possibly throwing another couple in there.. but.. hmmmm....

Something I will have to think about.. there's is just so much to think about...

Anyhow... I got laid.. damn.. that man is G O O D!!! and now.. I want more..
so Im gonna have to get a hold of him and let him know he just wetted my appitite.. and he needs to satisfy me some more... :)

Ok.. hope to hear from you all
Peace

How to Drop a Deuce at work

HOW TO DROP A DEUCE AT WORK
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked backin our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK DEUCE Is inevitable. For those who hate crapping at work, the following is theSurvival Guide for taking a deuce at work.

CROP DUSTING: When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not inyour area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it camefrom. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop Until the full fart hasbeen expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make Sure the smell has leftyour pants.

FLY BY: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come backagain. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE:A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing adeuce in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretendit did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal,pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK: When forcing a deuce, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the deuce hits the water.This reduces the amount of air time the deuce has to stink up thebathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET DEUCER: A colleague who deuces at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Deucer enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Deucer before entering the bathroom.

DEUCING FRIENDS NETWORK (D. F. N): A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency deucing goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the where abouts of Out Of The Closet Deucers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex.This will reduce the odds of a deucer of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR: Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a deuce at work. If this occurs,remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with anFRED ASTAIRE.

FRED ASTAIRE: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars That you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall isoccupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the deucer can crap in peace.

WATERMELON: A deuce that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on,create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET: A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in The toiletwater. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE REED: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could Spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Reed makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to deuce when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you aswell as the other bathroom attendees.

TMI!!!!

1. What is the meanest thing you've ever done/said to a lover/loved one?
I couldnt even began to name the meanest things... I can get pretty cruel... and I have no issues w/arguing... however.. I remember once.. back when my ex and I had seperated, cuz he decided to start doing a stripper... I went thru a phase of making myself feel pretty by being a, um, well.. yeah.. to many one nighters.. anyhow... I remember he undressed I looked at it.. and said.. "Youve got to be kidding me!" needless to say.. he got dressed and left..

2. Have you ever had sex on an elevator?
no...

3. Have you ever lied about a rash and said it was a birthmark? OR Have you ever lied about a birthmark and said it was a rash?
um.. no rashes here.. and no birthmarks.. I was found under a rock...

4. Have you ever had sex on a beach or in the water at a beach/pool?
Yes to the beach! It was a spur of the moment thing.. no blanket.. and sand in the ass isnt NOT fun!!!! not in the water at the beach.. but I have done it in a lake, and hot tub..

5. How old are you? 34
How old do you feel? depends on the day.. some days I feel like Im in my late teens early 20's.. other days.. I swear Im on deaths door..

6. Have you or your partner been injured so badly during sex that you/they had to go to the hospital? we injured ourselves alright.. but due to the "enhanced" state of ourselves.. we decided not to go to the ER or DR or anything.. we were both flying high on Acid.. and well.. you dont "cum" until you come down.. and well.. Acid can be hours worth of flying high pleasure.. but.. well.. 5 hrs later.. I hurt SO BAD..raw.. I dont know how else to put it.. raw raw raw

7. Have you been to a strip club or "titty bar"? (Hooters does NOT count.) If so, did you get a lap dance? LOL.. LMAO.. oh my god!!! Here's a hell of a story!!!
Feb 2007 - Family went to Reno... my dad.. 2 brothers, their wives.. and little ol' me....
My Dad & oldest brother were sitting at some video poker games as I walked by.. we all started talking and then Dad brings up the idea to head to the strip club next door..
And off we went.. and let the games began!!!!

We walk in.. sit down.. start drinking.. proceed to drink.. the strippers are dancing.. this was one of the higher class joints.. spendy drinks.. low lights, alot of red and black material on the walls.. plush leather seats.. and hardly anyone in the place.. the "bouncers" wore black dress pants & white dress shirts w/ties..
Happy hour roll's around.. thank gawd... the drinks started flowing.. at first..I was a little uncomfy.. until a stripper walks around.. and she's talking to my dad, then looks at me... walks over and try's to convince me that I want a lap dance.. Im not drunk enough..Im good..
this gal..who was barely 21.. puts her hand on my shoulder and slowly runs it down my shoulder to the top of my chest... into my shirt..and starts playing w/my nipple..
People.. I was in utter & complete shock.. I wasnt drunk.. but I was slightly buzzed.. and well.. my only response to her was.. Damn..your hands are cold!!!
Dad & Brother laughed.. the girl laughed.. and told me to let her know when I was ready for the lap dance...

Were sitting, were drinking, were watching.. and this guy walks over.. ask's me if I will give the dancer a dollar.. um.. sure.. I walk up to the dancer.. hand her my dollar.. turn around..sit down..
he thanks me.. and then I start asking him questions.. like.. why doesnt he do it.. He's shy.. get over his shyness do it himself.. oh no.. he's to shy... so forth and so on..
he gives me more $$ to take to the next "dancer" I walk up.. try to hand her the $$.. she decides she's gonna take the dollar stick it down my shirt ( I was wearing a tanktop) and pull it out w/her teeth..while her hands were feeling me up.. oh yeah.. that's right..
Then.. she stopped in the middle of her little seductive dance, and asked me where I got my boob job done.. cuz my Dr did an excellent job.. they feel so REAL... um.. honey.. they are real..
natural 42DD that's me.. still firm.. even after 2 kids!!! This gal was amazed.. so she grabs the top of my tank..and rips it down..and expose's my boob.. which.. didnt really bother me.. cuz.. well..Im a flasher.. I will flash my boobs w/no issues.. I dont care.. there just mounds of flesh..

My father & brother were laughing there ass's off.. what a family bonding moment!!!
The evening progressed.. I was D R U N K !!! in fact we all were.. totalled.. gone.. buh buy.. oh my..
toasted.. so much more happene.d. but.. this is long enough..

Lets just say.. my sis n law was P I S S E D at my brother.. cuz he was so toasted.. my step n mommy.. well.. she just laughed it off..

My Dad, Brother and I had 5 hrs of hilarious, good old-fashioned family bonding at the Reno strip club!!!

I dont see dead people

Well.. I know you all have been sitting on the edge of your seats.. waiting and waiting for me to give you an update.. so here it is..

I don't see dead people..
mainly.. by the time Saturday night rolled around.. I was so exhausted.. that I stayed home
pathetic huh?

Around 10:30 I did receive a phone call, stating that there was someone at the bar waiting for me. However.. I could barely keep my eyes open, and I believe I mumbled into the phone..that's nice, tell him Hi.. and another time.. and hung up :(

Yeah.. I guess sub-consciously I really didn't care if I saw him or not.
Maybe it's best to just keep him in my memory banks.

On to other news:

My son has decided to lie again.. about school, and grades... so.. I did the one and only thing I could think of.. ok..well two things..
I yanked away his summer vacation.. and sighned my happy little liar up for summer school.
Called his father, said.. oh so sorry.. as much as I know you want your son.. and as much as I NEED a vacation.. he will not be coming to Texas.. amazingly enough.. his father agreed, and instead of Wonder Mutt heading to see him, his Pop's will coming here to spend a week w/him while he's in summer school.. that's fine.. have fun..
However, we did discuss that if Wonder Mutt carries good grades, and passe's.. and since Summer school is only 4 weeks.. that maybe.. and I mean MAYBE... he will be able to go to Texas for 2 weeks.. but Im not telling Wonder Mutt that.. he needs to figure out that what Mamma says.. Mamma means!!!

Booga Butt was suppose to go to Minnesota for some time this summer to hang out w/Grammy, but damn if I cant find cheap airfare.. holy hell...
plus.. Im leaving in October to head to Cabo for a much needed week of relaxation.. I figured it's my 35th Birthday this year.. Im going on a freakin vacation w/no wee one's under foot.. no dog's to deal with.. no NOTHING.. just me, 7 close friends.. sand - sun - and a bucket of beer.. or 20!!! :)

Ok..that's it.. I got's to get my ass back to work.. or Im gonna get farther behind.. and trust me.. my ass is big enough!!! hahhahahaha.. I made funny..

Later
Peace

Walking Dead

One of my memories that I posted about on my Friday memories post.. was concerning a guy I dated in high school. I was 16 he was 23. (my apologies Im not sure how to link the post to this, as Im not puter savvy)
Anyhow...
About 5 yrs ago, a dear friend of mine called to inform me that he had passed away. It broke my heart, I cried, I mourned, I grieved, I processed I moved on.

Tuesday night.. my dear friend called me, we were talking and all the sudden he says..
"oh.. Jim's not Dead"
As I sat there, processing what he said.. I started thinking.. this is a cruel sick joke.
Which I said out loud..
"seriously.. he's not.. he's been in San Diego for the last 7 yrs... it wasnt his obit in the paper!"
my reply.. "excuse me?"
I believe for every time my friend told me what happened... I continued to say excuse me
As my mind whirled.. my heart beat, and my breathing becomes irratic....
"excuse me? How do you know for sure? Did you see him?"
"yes" he replies " he came back into town on Friday.. and we hung out all day Saturday.. seems there was another guy, same aprox age, same first and last name.. from same area...
Mind boggeling..

So.. he's alive.. in town.. and here...
I have been trippin.. for lack of better words..
my mind has been racing..

So.. Ive decided that Im going to go find him.. I found out where he's gonna be Saturday night..
and Im going to look up my old' high school sweetheart.. and look into those piercing blue eyes.. and just say Hi..

should be interesting to say the least...

Till Death do us part

Death is on the for front for me today..

Friday a guy I knew.. not really well, but knew of, passed away.
I feel for his family.. he has 2 young children.. and a girlfriend who worshipped him.
He was only 28 yrs old.

This brings things to close to home.. as I sit and think all the "what ifs"

What if, god forbid, I was to pass..
talking about it, makes my skin crawl, it's almost as if I will bring it to close to home.
Im not afraid to die.. it's part of the natural progression of things. But it worries me, just because of my wee ones.

Makes me realize all the things I need to put into place if that day were to come sooner than expected. Who will they live with? The fact that they need to stay together, and that I dont want them split up and I do NOT want them going to be w/their fathers.
Why not their fathers?
Wonder Mutt's dad is fine, they have a good relationship, they love one another, and his father would take good care of him. But then what about Booga Butt?
Her father is worthless, cant hold a job, does drugs, has no place to live. No, that wont do at all..
and shouldnt they be together? Raised together, under the same roof? Allowed to be w/one another to support each other in times of need?

But I know what will happen... there will be a never ending court battle.. each father will want their child. Regardless if it will be the right thing or not.
Wonder Mutt's father, because of love..
Booga Butt's father.. because of the life insurance... not because of the love..

What to do? I need to put something in place.. living will or something..
will it make a difference? Will my wishes be met?
Will the best interest of the children be met?
Will I never find eternal peace?
Because, my soul will never rest until they are of an age to defend themselves.. until I know they are safe. I will forever float the earth, verifying that the wee ones are secure, safe, and loved.


Rest in Peace Kevin... you will be greatly missed by all those that loved you, knew you, and cherished you.

Peace

The Beautiful One

Again, Im here.. to write about nothingness
What's up with that?
My life has become so non-existant that NOTHING is happening.
I guess it's to be expected, my teen years were far from ordinary.

So.. I guess I will fill you in on my boy child.. Wonder Mutt!

I recieved a call on Wed from his Science teacher, concerning his low grade average.
So, yesterday morning I decided to drive my Wonder Mutt to school, and have an impromptu conf w/the teacher. Little did I realize, there are panic buttons installed at spots thru out the room to bring other teachers at the drop of a hat.

As I sat there, speaking to his science teacher, I realize she has a look upon her, one of panic or scorn.. or maybe both.. as we sat there, and she starts telling me what a defiant, argumentative child I have, the door opens, and in walks another teacher.. sits down.. and then.. the door opens.. in walks another teacher.. sit's down... by this time.. Im feeling as if Im in the hot seat now. Not Wonder Mutt... me.. the Mommy.. the parent..the giver of life.. Im in the hot seat, I am transformed back to my pre-adolesence.. back to the time's when I was called in front of the teacher w/my own parents. Back to a time when corporal punishment was allowed in schools.
Back to when the words were spoken out of my fathers mouth. "You have my permission to swat her ass!" oh yeah.. I remember that swat from the Principal to this day. I was in 6th grade, got busted for shooting spit wads on the school bus at Lori. I think my ass still stings from that swat, w/the wooden paddle that had holes drilled into it, and was bright red.

Sitting there, listening to those teachers, looking at me, w/wonder on their faces as to what kind of parent am I, these givers of knowledge, wondering, how this young beautiful mother, could be a parent at such a young tender age. How could she, be the mother of this defiant, argumentative spawn. Then my son opens his mouth, to argue w/his teacher, and this young, vibrant, beautiful mother's head starts spinning out of control, and words of hystaria start spewing from her mouth, and she smacks her kid in the arm in front of the teachers.....
Wonder Mutt, doesnt react, he realizes his gorgeous mother has lost her cool...and he best close his mouth
The Givers of Knowledge.. sit in awe... realizing they are in the presence of greatness... that this young beautiful mother will control her young!






Ok..enough bullshit... my kid is a little shit!!! and yes, I did smack the boy in his arm for trying to argue, in front of me, w/the teacher.. I informed the teachers I am but a phone call away ( I only work 10 min away from the school) and I have NO issue w/showing up at school and taking Wonder Mutt by his hand, walking him to each class, and sitting w/him. If he needs me to hold his hand thru the day.. I will be HAPPY to do it..

As you see, this young, vibrant, beautiful Mother.. has a twin, the evil, sadistic Mom.. whose head spins around and spew's words of meanness... and lives to embarrass her young..
I warned the young punk.. that if he didnt behave.. I would wear something so awful to school that I would make DAMN sure I would embarass him, so that in his senior year of high school they will STILL be talking about his crazy ass, sadastic, yet beautiful, Mommy!!!

TMI Tuesday and other ho hums

3 day weekends are great.. except the coming back to work part.
Why is it that 4 day work weeks are longer than your regurlar 5 day work week?

Memorial weekend was uneventful... yet busy.. no drama thank gawd.. well.. except one small piece of drama, that doesnt directly affect me.. but none-the-less it pissed me right the fuck off.
As you have all read in previous post's I used to date a guy by the name of Rick... we dated about..hmm... almost 2 yrs a year ago.. when he and I started dating.. he was down and out.. no job, no place to live.. and like I normally do.. I pick up these guys, dust them off and attempt my best to get them back on their feet... (dont ask, Im a sucker for losers)
Well.. my brother got him a job, paid overtime, medical benefits.. and I allowed him to move in with me.. all was great.. things were moving right along, until one day he and I decided that after a year of dating.. it just wasnt worth it anymore.. time to move on from one another (the main issue was, he decided that drinking was more important than paying his part of the bills)

So fast forward to now.. he and I lost touch.. last I heard, he went back to his old scummy ways.. went to jail for 8 months.. for theft.. he and his brother decided to go back to their ways of breaking and entering, stealing, and whatever the hell else those losers do. Well his brother is in prison now.. 8 yrs for 1st degree theft (hope he rots there) and Rick is looking at 10 yrs, assuming the fucker ever gets caught... he's got warrants out for his arrest.

Well.. Sunday evening.. my brother gets a call to come to his office.. seems good ol' rick decided to steal from my brother.. syphon some gas out of some work trucks.. him and his other brother..
Now.. this doesnt directly affect me.. or does it? After all my family has done for this worthless piece of shit, he turns around and steals from him? Well my brother showed up, and DOESNT CALL THE COPS!!!! Talks to him, gets his side of the story.. and then lets him have some old old gas thats been sitting around in a dead car.. and sends him on his way!!!!
My brother.. is either really stupid.. or is living in a rose colored world.

I wonder what my brother would say, if I told him that the guy that was with Rick was his LEVEL 3 sex offender brother!!!! yeah.. I said it.. he just got out of prison...
Gawd I know some really scum of the earth people!!!

I swear, if I ever see that ten-dick-a-day-scum-gutter-guzzeling-whore again... it will be to soon ( I figure that analogy will be best as that's what he's gonna become in prison)
He's gonna get my fist, straight into his effing nose!!!

Ok.. Onto TMI Tuesday..


1. When you orgasm, do you hold your breath? Yes... but, sadly I raraely orgasm..it really hard for me to orgasm.. but when I do.. I tend to stop breathing...and my body twitches.. there are a handful of guys that have given me orgasms!

2. Have you ever had sex or played around with a celebrity? um.. do my dreams count? They get pretty graphic

3. Do you think prostitution should be legal? yes
Why or why not? I think if it was legal, we would have less sex crimes.. but, prostitues, male/female, need to be registered, and made to take all STD test's every 3 months..

4. How do you masturbate? Do you romance yourself? romance myself? huh? whisper sweet nothings into my ear? LMAO.. that's funny
Get straight to the point? depends on how horny I am.. sometimes.. I get in the mood to just get down and dirty.. and go to town w/Bob... other times.. I want to play in the shower w/myself.. rubbing soap all over my body and just feeling my self..
Read erotic material? I dont read erotic material.. but.. I do get those occasions where I enjoy a good porno.. something about watching someone get slammed.. is kind of erotic... :)

5. Which gives you the most pleasure - intercourse, masturbating for/with your partner, being masturbated by your partner?
Honestly... I think it's a mood thing.. I mean.. if every time is the same, doesnt sex w/your partner get boring?
it all boils down to.. being sensual.. to erotic, to aggressive, to trying new things.. I like variety.. but it's a mood thing.. a time thing..make up sex... so forth and so on..

You know what I mean?

Ok.. Im out..
Peace

Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever had a crush on a relative?

Ramblings from an exhausted women

It's hard to post when there really isnt anything worthy of posting about.
So my apologies to all my 5 readers out there in blogger land, however, like you really want to read about my ho hum existance.

I havnt kept up w/anything, my Friday Confessionals have wavered, not that I dont have more tantalizing stories to bore you to tears, it's just that, some of the stories I have to tell you, Im just not sure how to put them down onto blogger roll. I read back over some of my other posts and I think to myself.. what.. am I in middle school again? My writing seems to me like some bad essay that I failed misreably on.

My current life seems to be stuck in a black hole, that is slowly spiraling. I take steps forward, just to have to remove my shoes, retrace my steps; clean off my souls since I have stepped in a ton of shit along my path. Sooner or later, there has to be a platform up ahead where I can take a seat and order a stiff drink and put my feet up. Wonder to myself if this craziness will ever cease.

I have put in 18 hrs of overtime in the last 3 days, Im completely exhausted. I cant see straight, cant think straight, and as I type this, I continuelly have to go back delete what I have written just to correct the wording or the spelling. If my grammar teacher could read this now there is no doubt in my blonde head he would flunk my ass and make me repeat his happy-ass class!

On these ramblings.. as that's all Im doing now, Im off to figure out why I have a customer trying to establish SS7 with another provider when they have direct connections with them, and dont need to be going thru a 3 party vendor. How much easier my life would be if I could just win a few million measly dollars.

Cio bella!!
Peace