There is a void in my life.
What that void is I haven't figured out
I'm slowly going through the motions of just living
I get up, I go to work, I go home, I cook dinner, I do laundry, I go to bed
Repeat
day in...
day out...
My life has taken on a series of nothingness
Its a mixture of
Hopelessness
Helplessness
Do-nothing-ness
How does one pull away from the blah's?
How does one know if they are in love or not?
I suppose if you have to question it, you arnt... but.. ????
I feel like I'm nonexistent - like people don't truly see me, am I so ordinary that I'm voidable?
Forgettable?
Confusion
lost
damn it!
Sucks!
Pathetic
Im not liking this alot..
wow.. seriously?
I need to go find some excitment..
Some.... SOMETHING!
Any suggestions?
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
An era come and gone...do u rememeber?
You could hardly see
for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears
as far as they go.
Pull a chair up to the
TV set,
'Good Night, David.
Good Night, Chet.'
My Mom used to cut
chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.
My Mom used to defrost
hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in icepack coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli
Almost all of us would
have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.
The term cell phone
would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.
We all took gym, not
PE... and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in
gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.
Flunking gym was not an
option... even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than
gym.
Speaking of school, we
all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in
detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.
We must have had
horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then.
Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.
I thought that I was
supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of
myself.
I just can't recall how
bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270
digital TV cable stations.
Oh yeah... and where
was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I
could have been killed!
We played 'king of the
hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when
we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked
it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt
spanked.
Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of
antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a
horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.
We didn't act up at the
neighbor's house either because if we did, we got our butt spanked
there and then we got butt spanked again when we got home.
I recall Donny Reynolds
from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop,
just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our
house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a
goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.
To top it off, not a
single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a
dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?
We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were obviously so
duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't even notice that the entire
country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive?
LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO
SHARED THIS ERA, AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T -- SORRY FOR WHAT
YOU MISSED. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING
for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears
as far as they go.
Pull a chair up to the
TV set,
'Good Night, David.
Good Night, Chet.'
My Mom used to cut
chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.
My Mom used to defrost
hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in icepack coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli
Almost all of us would
have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.
The term cell phone
would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.
We all took gym, not
PE... and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in
gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.
Flunking gym was not an
option... even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than
gym.
Speaking of school, we
all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in
detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.
We must have had
horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then.
Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.
I thought that I was
supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of
myself.
I just can't recall how
bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270
digital TV cable stations.
Oh yeah... and where
was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I
could have been killed!
We played 'king of the
hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when
we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked
it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt
spanked.
Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of
antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a
horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.
We didn't act up at the
neighbor's house either because if we did, we got our butt spanked
there and then we got butt spanked again when we got home.
I recall Donny Reynolds
from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop,
just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our
house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a
goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.
To top it off, not a
single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a
dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?
We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were obviously so
duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't even notice that the entire
country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive?
LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO
SHARED THIS ERA, AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T -- SORRY FOR WHAT
YOU MISSED. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING
Friday, June 12, 2009
Summer is coming
Hi all,
Only 3 more school days left, then summer officially begins. My son actually obtained a babysitting job for the summer, it's only 4 hrs a day, but he will be raking in a whole $100 a week!!! That's a lot of cash for a 15 yr old. Oh the plans he already has for that money. New IPOD, new bike, clothes, a new cell phone. Oh wow.. I can already hear it
"Mom, can you pay half and I'll pay half"
"Mom, I swear I will pay you back"
"Mom, P L E A S E!!!???"
It will be a great lesson in money management for him.
My daughter already has a part time job working for a professional dog handler. Her first work weekend is next weekend. She doesn't get paid alot, but she gets about $50 or so a weekend.. that's alot of money for her.. hell she's only 12.
The girl child graduates from 6th grade on Tuesday... moving on up into the great big world of Middle School, the drama is already surrounding her so much so that I cant keep up. What amazes me is how many friends that girl has. Especially because she's so dang bossy. Controlling, argumentative and well, she's kind of a bully... hey I can say that she's a mini me... ;)
But I swear there are always kids at our house, staying the night or just always there! There's even a boy that hangs out ALL THE TIME..... he seems like a good kid and he minds his manners.. I actually think he's in "like" with my daughter but luckily she has no desire to have a "boyfriend" she says their just good friends.. believe you and me though, I do not leave them alone for any point and time!
The boy... he's starting to run with an interesting group of kids. I cant tell him who to be friends with and who not to be friends with. I remember when my father used to pull that on me and all it would do would push me closer to those kids that he didn't want me to associate with. So I just told Wanna-be-man-child that he needs to watch his back and always keep his head about him. Of course this did make me pull the reigns in a little tighter and now he has an earlier curfew and his time is limited with these friends......
Other than that...
I'm going to go get my endorsement so I can start riding... I'm ready to hit the open road with vibrations between my legs and the wind in my hair. A few of my other friends are in the process of getting their motorcycle endorsements and that way this summer we can all hit the open road and ride ride ride!!! Woo Hoo!!! I'm really looking forward to that!
Nothing overly exciting on the man front. I'm in blah blah land.. not in the mood for much of anything.... even satisfying myself isn't satisfying.. what the hell is wrong with me?
Well.. on that note.. I'm out...
Peace!
Only 3 more school days left, then summer officially begins. My son actually obtained a babysitting job for the summer, it's only 4 hrs a day, but he will be raking in a whole $100 a week!!! That's a lot of cash for a 15 yr old. Oh the plans he already has for that money. New IPOD, new bike, clothes, a new cell phone. Oh wow.. I can already hear it
"Mom, can you pay half and I'll pay half"
"Mom, I swear I will pay you back"
"Mom, P L E A S E!!!???"
It will be a great lesson in money management for him.
My daughter already has a part time job working for a professional dog handler. Her first work weekend is next weekend. She doesn't get paid alot, but she gets about $50 or so a weekend.. that's alot of money for her.. hell she's only 12.
The girl child graduates from 6th grade on Tuesday... moving on up into the great big world of Middle School, the drama is already surrounding her so much so that I cant keep up. What amazes me is how many friends that girl has. Especially because she's so dang bossy. Controlling, argumentative and well, she's kind of a bully... hey I can say that she's a mini me... ;)
But I swear there are always kids at our house, staying the night or just always there! There's even a boy that hangs out ALL THE TIME..... he seems like a good kid and he minds his manners.. I actually think he's in "like" with my daughter but luckily she has no desire to have a "boyfriend" she says their just good friends.. believe you and me though, I do not leave them alone for any point and time!
The boy... he's starting to run with an interesting group of kids. I cant tell him who to be friends with and who not to be friends with. I remember when my father used to pull that on me and all it would do would push me closer to those kids that he didn't want me to associate with. So I just told Wanna-be-man-child that he needs to watch his back and always keep his head about him. Of course this did make me pull the reigns in a little tighter and now he has an earlier curfew and his time is limited with these friends......
Other than that...
I'm going to go get my endorsement so I can start riding... I'm ready to hit the open road with vibrations between my legs and the wind in my hair. A few of my other friends are in the process of getting their motorcycle endorsements and that way this summer we can all hit the open road and ride ride ride!!! Woo Hoo!!! I'm really looking forward to that!
Nothing overly exciting on the man front. I'm in blah blah land.. not in the mood for much of anything.... even satisfying myself isn't satisfying.. what the hell is wrong with me?
Well.. on that note.. I'm out...
Peace!
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