Thursday, September 29, 2005

Kids n Drugs

So Im watching the news last night and on comes a report about a 3yr old
who was brought to the Centralia Hospital, high on meth. Crystal Meth, that was probably just laying around his house because one of his loving parents is a drug addict, and as most children that age do, he puts it in his mouth, and what do you know.. the kid is seeing purple and pink dinosaures flying across the room, and running around so damn quick that it gives a whole new meaning to ADHD.

Where are these parents minds? Granted, they are higher than the Empire State building, but, where were their minds prior to gettin' hooked? Been there done that, and you know what, when I found out that I was bringing another life into this world that I was going to have devote the next 25 yrs to someone else, to raise them according to what they should be, to help them understand right from wrong, morals, caring, loving individuals and who can help this fucked up society that we currently live in.

The report goes on to say, that in Lewis County (where that child resides) almost 75% of the children in foster care there were pulled out due to their parents being drug addicts or alcholics.
Its so sad, I look at my children, and their are days that I feel I am not providing for them the way I wish to, but you know what. They are not living w/strangers, their mother isnt a crack whore, they have food on the table, clean clothes on their backs, a bed to sleep in and an occasional outting to a nice place.

So you know what.. help a child in need. There are those that are worse off.
And my heart goes out to that small child

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Get me outta here!  Posted by Picasa

Relaxed and peaceful

I got laid!!!

I know, like ya'll give a damn,
But whats amazing as what is does for the body.
The relaxation, the inner peace..the all.

Im sure I sound like a slut, but hey... it wasnt like I picked the guy up at the local whore hole, nope.. its my daughters father, so its not like I havnt been there before. Whats a little "fuck buddy" action?

Friends w/benefits? Stress reliever? um.. its all good.. and let me tell you.. it was all GOOD!!!

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

I do apologize

Not that anyone else reads this.. but I do apologize for just leaving like that.. wow.. its been awhile...

Same ol' drama same ol' day in the life of Me

W is still here, R is poking around again.

Work is a pain in the arse

The kids are alive and well

Ive been sicker than a dog the last week, but still able to make it into work every day

My 33rd birthday is coming up.. and Im kind of dreading it

I havent gotten laid in almost a month.. and Im not a happy person to be around

Im still loosing weight though, so thats a plus.. of course guess it helps if I eat

Im about ready to go buy a new B.O.B maybe that will make me somewhat happier, with no chances of catching anything

oh yeah.. alls well!!!!

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

More Info

Ok... I figured I would provide a little bit more info on me....

I grew up in a basic normal family, I guess, Mom/Dad, 2 brothers, my Grandfather (my dad's dad) and my Grandmother (my mom's mom) all lived w/us.
My Grandfather pass on my birthday, the day I turne 8. So I have that lovely memory every year. And my Grandmother passed when I was 17, from Alzheimers. sad sad sad.. me and grammy were very close.
Anyhow... my parents seperated when I was like 12, I was given the choice to move w/my mother to California, or stay in Washington w/my father...hmmm...lets think about this, Im gonna stay in WA where all my friends are, duh!!!
So..I stayed, and discovered some extra curricular activities w/my friends, such as a little Mary Jane... which went into some drinking, into some crystal meth, into acid, into lets party all the time oh this is fun, fuck life, and lets just become a drug addict and oh while Im at it.. I think I should leave home at 14 and live on the streets... no wait... I should go home, so off and on the streets for a few years. Then at 16, I tried to clean up a little bit, was home, got a job, was going to school.. and then I met J... 23 yrs old, no responsibilities, and he had the hook up's. Lets quit school, fuck the job, and go live w/J on the streets and become more of an addict. Aww yeah... life was great.. me J and my friend S and her man JR, lets go party by the lake, get fucking wasted and oh crap..there's the police, they call my father, who says throw her in jail I dont want her around my house, so the cops call S's mom.. who worked for the County Sherriff's office, who offers to come pick us up (mind you we were drunk off our asses and/or higher than kites, dont remember which..) she picks us up, drops us off at her house, we say fuck you all.. and have J & JR pick us up, and we are on the run... head to Eastern WA, to stay w/S's father who um.. well didnt recieve us well, so lets live in the car.. sounds like fun huh!!! did that for a few months, then S&JR hitchhike home, and J & I and another couple who we befriended, decide to steal a car and head to San Diego.... what a ride, what a trip... and OMG we didnt get caught.. until me and my stupid wisdom, lets stop at my Aunties house to get some $$$...
Isnt this boring shit??? Anyhow..long story short.. I stay at my Aunties, who passes me off on my cousin, J , S & JR leave... and Im stuck in LA.. (by the way... hated it) so I hitchhike back to WA...
I hooked up with an outreach program, just shy of my 17th birthday.. and let me tell you, they turned my shit around. Job training, college, off the dope, back on my feet, back in w/the family and all's getting hella better...
Had my wee ones.. and WOW..theres so much more.. but I dont wanna bore you right outta the gate.. stay tuned.. I left ALOT out!!


Thursday, September 08, 2005


I woke up this morning feeling rather blah...there has been some kind of shift w/in myself that is causing me to just freakin "wig" out.
One minute Im fine, and the next minute, I feel the pressure in my chest, and my heart starts racing, I get all nervous, and my vision gets blurred, and then, my hands start shaking... and I just start yelling/bitching/going psycho. You know this makes my job really hard. Damn good thing I can just shut my office door and then people dont bother me! I have been getting so angry lately that Im self-destructing, Im tearing apart my home and probably scarin' the hell out of my family. Im not physical towards any of them, but the yelling and throwing of things are bad enough! So, Im off to a counselor to get my anger back under control, to figure out what is triggering my "episodes"

On the other note, my son is sleep walking, that has me a tad concerned. He has the downstairs bedroom, and he's freaked out about someone coming through the bedroom window and taking him away or something, so most of the time he ends up sleeping on the floor in his sisters room or the floor in my room. Not Good!!! This kid is almost 12, he's a little old to still be sleeping w/mommy!!!! Anyhow my other half has been sleeping on the couch so the boy feels more comfy downstairs, he said that last night he watched our son make 3 trips upstairs to check on his sister and me, and then the 4th trip he just came down and sat in the front room... I dont know what the deal is, just zoned out until W had to wake him up and tell him to go back to bed... the poor boy'o... tis very tired, he's not getting the sleep that he needs!!! Time to take him to a Dr too...

My daughter broke her wrist last week rollerblading.. took her in yesterday she got herself a beautiful purple cast, other than that, she's doing well

Thursday, September 01, 2005


Im so saddened by the devestation of Katrina. I feel like I should go volunteer at the Red Cross and go try to help out the best I can, and do what I can. This disaster makes my problems w/life seem to minimul and I guess they are.

But what I dont get, is the looters. Who are these selfish assholes that are robbing guns and trying to break into hospitals? I understand breaking into the local Rite Aid to steal water/food/medical supplies... but to break down the local Walmart and clean out the gun section and to take the new tv's. WTF? For what.. um hello you damn ass's, you dont have any electricity, let alone cable... OMG.. fu**ing idiots.

I feel the loss for them, and here I sit, knowing I get to go home in an hr from my job, and cook a wholesome meal for my kids, and then take a shower and lay down in my comfortable bed. That seems so wrong to me.

I saw an ad for the American Red Cross, 20 hrs of training, then they will send u to volunteer. Im seriously thinking I should, there has got to be SOMETHING I can do.

Some Info - if you care

Ok, so a little about me.
I have two beautiful children, they are my everything, for lack of better words they complete me. My son is 11, he is such a funny little man, it amazes me at how grown up he is. It amazes me at how much like me he is, always wanting to make people laugh & smile to make them happy. He's so worried about making people happy. Yet watch out, he has a temper (which I know he gets from me) He's starting middle school this year. 6th grade!!! OMG!!! I remember middle school, thats when I was introduced to what the world was really about, no more safe cacooned little world, welcome to reality! Oh I do hope he makes it through ok w/out any major life changing moments. I mean, I realize he is going to change, and he's gonna grow and the next few years are going to teach him lesson's w/in life and help him to understand why people are people. But Im not ready to loose my funny monkey.
My daughter... she is mini me! At least that's what everyone tells me. She looks like me, acts like me, talks like me, same facial expressions as me and she is such a bossy little bug! Oh..wait.. so am I! Ok,,,, I get it already. She is 8, and smarter than her own good. I swear she is going into the 3rd grade, already reads at a 5th grade level, does math just under the 5th grade level, knits/crochets and loves to sing! And she's a worrier.. she worries over everything I try to keep her mind occupied on other things, but it just doesnt work. She worries about the food in the cupboard, gas in the car, if the bills are paid, laundry.. you name it.. she worries about it. But if I told her to clean her room.. oh no... she dont worry about that!
Anyhow.. my living situation is a little mucked up. I live w/my ex boyfriend and my daughters father. Now, mind you, there is nothing going on w/either of them. We are all roommates sharing the expenses. But its a long long long story and one that I dont wish to get into right now. But I swear, parts of my life should be on the Jerry Springer show.
I will give you a little bit of it to wet thy whistle, My sons father and my daughters father were best friends in high schoool. The ex that I live w/I also dated when I was 16 (for about a yr). There ya go.. as the world turns, ho hum, its just another fu**ed day in my life.
W/out my wee ones, I dont know how I would cope.