Thursday, March 12, 2009

I miss the 80's

How the hell did my father deal with me as a teenager?

How the hell do I deal with my kids now that they are teenagers?

I didnt have a cell phone when I was 15 or 12...
I didnt have the internet either..
I rode around in the back of pick up's
I drank water out of the hose
I played hide n seek way past dark
Remember when:

Atari was the thing...
Rubiks cube..
Big hair...
Leg warmers (what I wouldnt give for leg warmers again..Im cold damn it)
Fraggle Rock?
Ripped jeans w/spandex underneath...
OMG... Jelly shoes!!!
Friendship braclets...
Hair bands...
Flashdance....Breakfast Club.... Sixteen candles?
Rode in cars w/out seatbelts

Here's a poem I found... it actually pertains to other years.. but.. I miss the 80's...

TO ALL OF US WHO SURVIVED THE 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's, 70'S and 80'S!!

Ø First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

Ø They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Ø Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.
Ø We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

Ø As infants & children, we would rode in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.
Ø Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
Ø We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
Ø We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.

Ø We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. WHY? Because we were always outside playing...that's why!
Ø We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K.
Ø We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few
times, we learned to solve the problem.
Ø We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no person al computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
Ø We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
Ø We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
Ø We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
Ø We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.
Ø Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
Ø The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

Things need to go back in time..
I miss the good ol' days...

What do you miss/remember?

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Oh.. Drama.. Puhleez!!!

I'm the youngest of three - I have two older brothers, Choo & Burnt (names are changed to protect the identities of others)

Choo is the oldest brother - he's got his head on straight, married to Weenie (its a girl) and she's actually one of my best friends... how often do you get to say that? That your sister n law is a good friend!? I personally believe that makes me very lucky.

Now.. Burnt... he's the middle child - Mr. Perfection Personified.. Mr. Do No Wrong!
He's my current nightmare.... Burnt has many children... claims to be a christian... and did I mention he thinks he perfect? I don't believe in his parenting style, which everyone has their own way to parent, I get that. Use the rod, don't spare the child kind of thought process...If I'm saying that right.

Anyhow.. Burnts oldest - Fryer Tuck - just turned 20 - and he is about as worthless as boobs on a nun..... Fryer Tuck was home schooled and was the gopher child, go for that, go get me this, you understand? He was the red-headed step child I suppose you could call it, not the current wife's son... but the son from a teenage evening where two hormonal teenagers had to much fun... Burnt always liked to tell Fryer Tuck he was the crash test dummy child.. I think that took a toll on Fryer Tuck.. cuz now - he's living in a motor home with his underage slut puppy girlfriend - he drives this motor home around town and parks it where ever - I guess we all should be happy at the fact that he at least has a roof over his head and is semi-warm during these cold evenings were having.... I'm off subject...

Anyhow.. Fryer Tuck got busted a few months ago for intent to deliver to an undercover officer.... can u say dumb ass! Fryer Tuck went to jail, and Burnt decided that he should step up and be a Daddy now - and instead of making Fryer Tuck deal w/his own irresponsible life choices, Daddy Dearest is making all the decisions.... Fryer Tuck decided that he wanted the drama off of him for awhile - so, he decided to start some shit between me and Burnt, by dragging my oldest, Monkey Boy, into the mix.

Fryer Tuck informed Burnt that he saw a video on you tube of my son smoking pot... which I know for a fact Monkey Boy isn't - long story... I just know! Anyhow.. here's my question to you...
If your child told you that he saw this video concerning your nephew wouldn't you call your sibling to inform them of this?

Well not in my family!
Burnt told Choo - Choo told Weenie - Weenie called me...
Now Burnt says that if Monkey Boy ever wants to come to his house again, he needs to take a piss test and pass it before he will allow him to hang out with his other children...
Amazing.. considering that Fryer Tuck is strung out on meth & Oxycontin and so is the slut puppy he's dating and they are there all the time - but that's different, as that's his son... not his nephew...

So.. Ive washed my hands of my Burnt..... I told his wife - (whom I like) that as far as I'm concerned - Burnt is no more - he's a hypocritical bastard - and those that live in glass houses should not throw stones...

Talking to Monkey Boy about all of this, and Ive learned over the years to tell when my son lies to me...he was saddened about how his uncle feels about him. I asked him if he had ever smoked pot, and he said no.. and yes, I do believe him... why? Because remember I was a strung out mess for many many years.. I know the signs.. I know my son isn't on drugs... and I know he hasn't tried them (yes I had him tested not long ago by his Dr)
I was strung out on meth for 4 yrs back in high school.. I smoked pot everyday for many years w/monkey boys father - before monkey boy came along... I know the signs.. and I know that Monkey Boy is clean...

Besides - he told me that his friends offered him some not long ago.... Monkey Boy said no thanks.. when his friends asked him if he was scared.. he said
"Guys.. have you met my Mother? She's a fucking Ogre.. she scares the shit out of me!"

I'm OK with that.. a little fear of your parent is healthy..
Don't you agree?