Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Just need to breath

I totally forgot all about my little blog here.. well not totally forgot, just kind of put it to the far back areas of my brain and just left it to form cobwebs.

Well, August until about a week ago have been rather uneventful, so I suppose that’s always a plus, life has been trudging along. Work is work, home is home.

Until Friday.. when the police showed at my front door, with my 16yr old son. He decided to go out drinking with some buddies… then proceeded to get in a car w/some 22 yr old dumbass, who thought it would be fun to go joy riding…. They crashed… no, my son wasn’t driving… he was a passenger, the 22 yr old guy was driving.. he provided the kids alcohol, my son went along for the ride because…well I don’t rightly know why he went along for the ride. I have talked to this kid over and over and over again concerning drinking and driving and how you NEVER get into a car with someone who has been drinking. Sadly, the transmission did not actually make it into his brain cavity and imbed itself.

No one was hurt during the crash, thank GOD! The car was crashed into a utility pole. The idiots walked away from the accident and left the car wrapped around the pole. The Police found them at the 22yr olds residence. My son was arrested and brought home. The 22 yr old was arrested and hauled to jail. With a DUI, contributing to minors, & Hit and run charges.

My son is looking at a MIP/MIC (minor in possession/minor in consumption) charge. Im an evil Mother and told the police that I want the DA to pick up the charges because my kid did something horribly wrong and made a horribly bad judgment call and I will NOT allow him to feel he can get away with this!

So, were waiting for the court date to see what’s next. I have never felt so disgusted with my son, nor have I ever wanted to physically harm him. I asked the officer if he truly wanted to leave him in my custody. Because I have a temper and I could feel the blackout coming on. I can honestly say I had to hold my hands together. I did not yell. I did not fight. I looked at my son and told him. I loved him, I was glad he was safe and that no one else was hurt. However I was so disgusted and disappointed in him that I couldn’t look at him and to go to bed. I spoke to him Saturday evening. Cuz it took me that long to calm down. The “what if’s” kept me up all night.

So now it’s a hurry up and wait game……

As for the rest of my life… I think me and the man are done.. I haven’t completely decided… he’s so needy, and insecure, and needy… yes I know I already said needy… but he is. And not independent. I thought it was cute for awhile, but over the last month OY. It’s getting tiring. Follows me around like a little puppy dog. I just can’t think anymore. More on that later. I just need to think about it.

My daughter is doing ok, she’s backed up again, which reminds me Im off to make a Drs appt for her.

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Catch up... not ketchup

Wow, I logged in after months of being away from blog land and see that I have 39 followers, just when did that happen? I'm flattered. Thank you..

So, I guess Ive been a little MIA... OK, not really life has been throwing some huge ass curve balls, as of yet I haven't been hit in the head with a fast pitch but damn my thigh hurts!

So, lets see whats new in my little slice of hell? I finally got my bike endorsement, I finally decided that I needed to feel the vibrations of my own big engine between my legs, one that I had control of, so I went out and passed the class and I am now legal!
I made the hard mental decision to allow my 16 yr old to start drivers education and obtain his driving permit, so far he's only tried to put us in a ditch once, so I suppose he's doing rather well.
My teenage daughter is having some medical issues... basically she's full of shit.. lie.. she's full of shit and the meds she is on are not working, I'm thinking it's gonna have to be some kind of procedure to un-shit the child (oh she would be mortified if she knew I was writing about this)

My oldest brother has moved in with me, that has been a HUGE undertaking, I never realized what a self-centered, egotistical, male chauvinistic ass he was, I mean is. Holy Wow what an eye opener it has been.

4 weeks til the kidletts are back in school... I am thankful that my kids are teenagers, I have a few high school friends who are just now starting their families, and frankly I just do not understand as to why? We will be 40 in a few short years, why oh why would you want to live these years w/small, crying, running amuck children? Then again, I guess they lived their lives early on. I am looking forward to my 40's with no small ones at my heels.

I am still employed.. woo hoo.. in this day an age that is a huge accomplishment!

Got a new man, ok ok, we have been together going on 9 months, that is HUGE.. He's good to me.. he's good to my kids.. and well I hate to say it, he spoils me to know end and treats my like a princess... well, a dark princess as I hate the flowers/frill and fluff.. but, he's good people, wonder how long before I fuck this one up?

Cheers everyone!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Who would of thunk it....

Well one of my loyal readers nominated me for a blog award.

At first I thought it was a big joke, but turns out someone really does like me.
Thank you loyal reader. Much appreciated....

so with that being said..... go vote for me, although I think I only have a few readers one or two is better than none to zero Righht

Sadly Im sitting in a hotel on hotel wi-fi... and I cant seem to get anything to link up the way it's suppose to.

I decided to take a small vaca away from life and responsibilities and drove my happy ass to Reno.
So far the winning gods have been very fickle. But, the drinking gods have been kind. Meaning I havnt woke up with a hangover yet, so either the drinks are weak or Im just not drinking.
Either way Im relaxing and that's what is important.
Heading home tomorrow (Wednesday) gonna make that lovely drive home back to the world of responsibilities, work, kids, animals and and and... woo hoo... life is life I suppose.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

It's an Orange...

You know life sometimes gets in your way, prohibits you from being who you are, who you want to be, where you currently are, or where u really wish to be. That has been me. My days have made me feel like a rat, running in circles on a large metal wheel. Not really feeling like I'm getting anywhere, just running in circles in place... over and over and over again.

Yes, there have been some bright spots. Some joyous moments. My kids are doing great. I got an awesome bonus from work. I moved out of my hell hole apartment into a beautiful big house. I finally met the man of my dreams. Who adores me, my kids and the Noah's ark that I have created.

But some days, I still feel that there is something missing. But what? What is it that could make me feel all that much more complete? Honestly, I have my health, which by the way was touch and go for awhile with the damn pneumonia and bronchitis and stupid ass colds that just wont let go. I have my children.. who have been doing marvelous. I have my new Man... who adores my big butt... my tummy w/the imperfections... my wild antics... he is so mellow compared to me.. we fit amazingly well together, and most importantly my kids really like him.
So the question is what?

Hmmmm... maybe it's time to stop thinking of whats missing, and start moving through life thinking that all's well. Nothing is missing, life is finally where it's suppose to be.

That's a novel concept huh?!