Ass-sphincter says what?

So the day has finally arrived.. where Mr. Beneficial friend has put the question out there.
"Do you want to try to see if this is more than it really is?"

Ive been expecting it, after all, awhile ago he told me he had fallen in love with me.
I blew it off... figured it was just a bunch of bull, and didnt pay much attention to it.
He countered it with a "what do u want from me"
I countered it with telling him I wanted the white picket fence, and the happy ever after...
not expecting him to say "ok"
I already have the 2 kids, I dont want that part of the dream.

So, today..he wants to make it more.
Here's my dilemma...
He's a swinger.. meaning, he likes alot of variety in life.. not men.. but partner swaps...
Im a one guy...one girl kind of girl when Im in a relationship...
I honestly dont think I could handle watching, or knowing he was with another women. I honestly believe that would drive me insane. Yet, he likes to watch me with other men... (mind you, we've only done that once but he wants to do it again)

So.. that brings up the question..how do I actually feel about him?
I like him.. weve been "seeing" each other for almost 5 yrs..
yes, there's been a few in between here and there..
but, we always find our way back to each other.
I care about him, I may love him a little bit.. but.. could I trust him?
I dont know..
I dont know if I could or would trust him.
My problem is, I dont trust men.. I havnt for many many years.. trust me, Ive tried, oh lord have I tried.. I just dont know if I have it in me anymore.

He says he's not like that anymore.. that he doesnt need that type of lifestyle.. that it rarely happens.. and he can turn it down..

What it boils down to.. is me..
Im terrified of getting hurt again..
Can I trust him? Do I trust him?
Once a swinger/player.. always a swinger/player?

So.. what's your thoughts blog world? help me... cuz Im completely and totally confused here!

Friends in high places.....

The last few days have been a whirlwind of on going action and drama.

My birthday....
My babies birthday...
My Sons first formal dance....

Crazy times.. Crazy adventures.. just crazy.....

Funny Monkey (my son) had his pride and joy stolen late Friday night early Saturday morning.
A $400 Fit/Pro or something.. anyhow... called the police to file a report, Officer Friendly would not file a report w/out the serial number. Whatever... seriously? Stolen items are stolen items...

It was suggested that I contact the schools security officer to see if maybe he would be able to obtain some information. I will give huge kudos here...because the security office went above and beyond his requirements to obtain names, addresses, and car information! Come to find out the kids that supposedly stole Funny Monkey's bike don't even attend school with him, they attend school on the other side of town.

I called Officer Friendly back.. who of course isn't in today... please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible! Yeah? ASAP? No.. I got transferred to one to many departments before I finally had a fit and left a not so nice message on someones voice mail.

So.. I received a call back.. almost immediately.. imagine that..
and what do I hear? A blast from my past!!!!
Deputy H...
As in.. my brothers best friend from high school!!!
Oh yeah... things are looking up for me!!

Long story short, He didn't understand why Officer Friendly wouldn't file a report a stolen bike.. is a stolen bike.. end of story...
As I type this, an officer is headed out to the school to talk to some hoodlums... and I have a case number in my hand..and if all works out well..
Funny Monkey will have his Pro Fit or Fit Pro or whatever back in his hot little hands soon.

Now.. do I press charges on these little shits?
(oooooh... and my son had his IPod stolen a month or so ago out of his gym locker... guess what was returned today at school? yep.. the IPod... some parents were snooping thru their daughters room and found it.. it was given to her by her boyfriend.. they returned it to the school... hmmm.. me thinks that the two will not be allowed to associate much with each other anymore...)


So, it is good to have friends in places of authority....

I so could be a cop.. then again... I don't have the calmness to be a cop...
I'm more of a..attack now, ask questions later...not a good combo!!!

To much time on my hands..

To much time on our hands at work.......

Where's my cake Damnit??!!

Today is the official start of my downslide to 40.

The girls at work love me.. I love them...
I had Almond Joy's all over my desk.. there my favorite!!!!
And a nice big beautiful cake was baked for me..
and I got a box of Honey Bunches of Oats.. LOL.. cuz I eat it every morning
for breakfast..

My daughter decorated the house after I went to bed...

Well... we all went to bed, then all the sudden she jumps up and run's into my room and says..
OMG Mom, I forgot to clean the kitchen!!!
Yeah, Like Im gonna believe that she's all worried and stuff about the kitchen being dirty! HA!

My house looked like a streamer/crepe paper factory threw up.... but it was cute and thoughtful and I love her...


so, yeah, Im officially over the hump.... downsliding to 40....
the big

3 6!

Lets hope that this year brings some much needed.......something!!!!