Thursday, September 13, 2007

Sex & Calories



CALORIES BURNED DURING SEX!


REMOVING HER CLOTHES:

With her consent
12 Calories

Without her consent
2,187 Calories


OPENING HER BRA:

With both hands
8 Calories

With one hand
12 Calories

With your teeth
485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:

With an erection
6 Calories

Without an erection
3,315 Calories

POSITIONS:

Missionary
12 Calories

69 lying down
78 Calories

69 standing up
812 Calories

Wheelbarrow
216 Calories

Doggy Style
326 Calories

Italian chandelier
2,912 Calories

ORGASMS:

Real
112 Calories

Fake
1,315 Calories


POST ORGASM:

Lying in bed hugging
18 Calories

Getting up immediately
36 Calories

Explaining why you got out of bed immediately
816 Calories


GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:

If you are:

20-29 years
36 Calories

30-39 years
80 Calories


40-49 years
124 Calories

50-59 years
1,972 Calories

60-69 years
7,916 Calories

70 and over
Results are still pending


DRESSING AFTERWARDS:

Calmly..
32 Calories

In a hurry
98 Calories

With her father knocking at the door
5,218 Calories

With your wife knocking at the door
13,521 Calories

Results may vary!


THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD

Right now, as you read this,
69 Million Americans are having SEX!
And you're on the computer!!!




3 comments:

April said...

I don't believe it Barney. If it was sooooo, I'd be thin :-)

Carmel Beauty said...

Damn!! Why can't I be one of the 69 million people having sex I need to lose more weight anyway.

Ozfemme said...

lol