I have been completely slacking in my post's, things have been so damn crazy that I just havnt had time to get to the really important things in life, and that being keeping all of you updated on my poor existance of life.
So... grab your favorite beverage and here we go!
The guy that I met at the bar, whom I supposedly went to high school with.
I didnt make it to dinner with him, since I found out all that scoop on him I decided that he was gonna cook me dinner at his house (just to see if he would and how he would weasel his way out of it)
At first he was all agreable about it, then around 4:45 on that day he called and told me that he couldnt because his cat got sick all over his front room floor and he just didnt want me at his house, and he wanted to get it all cleaned up before he had me over.
I offered to bring over my steam vac and help him clean it, but that offer was shot down.. gee..I wonder why?
So... I showed up at his door anyway (dumbass gave me his apt #)
knocked...got know answer, knew he was there cuz his car was.
I went over to the managers and sent him a txt message and told him where I was, and that I figured he was in the shower and to let me know when he was done and that I had brought the steam vac... you will never guess what happened.!!!????
He called, said that he had an "emergancy" w/his dad and had to go take care of him.
Supposedly his dad is dying of cancer and needs alot of assistance.
I say supposedly... because my friend knows daddy-dearest... and he's in remission and is doing great!!!
Well...needless to say, by this time I was done playing - there was just to much effort being put into something that was going nowhere. So I told him that I knew everything and he needed to just come clean. He finally did, sort of... gave me a very wide version of everything.... it boiled down to him not being happy w/his current situation and I guess wanting something on the side.
Told him good luck w/that and dont call, dont txt, and if he ever saw me out and about.. pretend he didnt even know me.
I suppose I could of been a lot ruder.. but, Ive come to the realization that sometimes I spend to much energy on trying to hurt people. Why? Why do I feel the need to be so vicious?
What do I gain out of it in the end? Well beside self-satisfaction?
there is something obviously wrong with me!
On other news...
The kids are doing great. We started family counseling, it's part of the program that the boy is on. Im hoping it will help all of our issues. Cuz, come on... everyone has issues.
Oh..Im a whore..
I worked my second job all weekend, so the wee ones were w/their cousins and gone from the house. So.. Friday night my "friend" came over for dinner.. and then we um.. enjoyed each other.
Then Saturday night.. I ran into an ex... ex ex.. from like 6 yrs ago..
and well.. yeah.. I did..
Im such a whore.. what the hell is wrong with me?
It's almost like Im trying to re-establish myself.
Whats that old saying.
Looking for love in all the wrong places.
Which brings me to another thought..
to put it bluntly..
What..Im good enough to fuck.. but not good enough to have a relationship with?
Good lord.. now Im feeling even lower than low..
Im a dirty rotten whore. slut. easy. whatever you wanna call it.
oh well.. the anger is setting in again
I feel it seeping into my pours.
must be because of the holidays.
Im so NOT int Christmas this year... just have no desire to participate.
I havnt even decorated. No tree, no decorations. No nothing.
Whats wrong with me?