Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Suicide is so final

My mind is in a fog yet the I'm riding the anger train, I think I will be riding it for a very long time.

How could he?!
Put myself through the that hell, and put my children at risk?
Who the hell does he think he is?
Is life so not worth living and so very bad that popping those pills chased w/a 1/2 gallon of your favorite beverage is worth the end result?

If I hadn't of found him, what then?
Was it truly a cry for help?
Or was it truly an end that he wished for?

What if my children had been there?

Why? Seriously why?

I'm exhausted...emotionally & mentally exhausted.
I cant take much more
How am I suppose to feel?
Am I being non-caring, cold, heartless?
Maybe...but I must be this way
I have lives depending on me

Your still alive
Now, find someone else to torment...
Leave me the fuck alone.
I'm done!

7 comments:

Krystal said...

When did this happen?!

You definately need him out of your life and your children's!!!

Barney said...

This past weekend..

He is gone...
Was gone..
Got into the house..
I wasnt home.. neither were the kids thank gawd...

He's in the psych ward
Im moving!!!!

Hubman said...

That's terrible, Barney! I'm sorry to hear about all of this. At least the kids didn't see any of this...

"T" said...

MOVE!!!

I so sorry I haven't been commenting but I've been reading....

(I've been really, REALLY sick, ...another story (mine) for another day)

You are a STRONG smart woman.

You can do this.

lurker in columbus said...

What an ass and trying to OD is a sure-fire way to win a womans heart (snerk).

Like you said, "I have lives depending on me". Exactly!

Moving may be a good idea, and a restraining order as well....

Best of luck Barney, keep us posted.

Weekends Off said...

I'm just checking in to see if you are Ok and stuff Barney. I'm sorry you had to deal with this, it's more than unfair and I think moving and getting the hell outta dodge is a fantastic idea.

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