Thursday, December 15, 2005

Who the hell is Murphy?

Well I have officially lost it!

Murphy's Law!!! Who the hell is this Murphy character? I swear, he has been having the best laugh of his life at my expense.!!!

The last year of my life, has been one large practical joke after another.. I swear, things have been happening to me that shouldn't happen to one person...

But the topper to the year.. is what happened this morning...

I got out of bed early... (which is a miracle in itself)
I got ready...
I got the wee one's up, got them ready, with a minimal amount of arguments, fighting, picking on each other. Got them breakfast, got the deadbeat off the couch, got him moving, headed to the car... Its 7am!!! OMG.. Im actually running ON time.. That's right.. ON time..
Mind you, Im driving a total POS!! ITS NOT MINE.. But anyhow.. Im driving this POS, but it whatever..its just a car...minivan to boot..
and I go to close the slider door on this beautiful piece of junk..................
and.. the fucking door falls off!!!!
Thats right.. falls off... its hanging there...
I look at my 12 year old.. and I quote "What the Fuck?!"
yep.. I said it.. to my son.. I was in utter shock, amazement, awe!!!
the door is hanging there, and there go all my thoughts of beating traffic, getting them to school on time, me getting to work on time, and being able to stop for a double mocha!
Gone.. poof.. no more.. and all I could do was laugh...
So Im standing in my driveway, holding onto a door, and laughing hysterically... cars are driving by, and Im just standing there, in 30 degree weather, laughing hysterically, tears are running down my face... kids sitting in a the car, car running, just laughing.. what was I suppose to do.

So, I wait until 8ish... call the call dealership that this POS was purchased from.. and say.. hi, so&so just bought this POS from you, and um.. yeah.. the slider door fell off... Now, here is the intelligence of used car's salesmen...
"Go ahead and bring it in, and we will fix it!"
um.. hi.. I think its a little illegal to drive a car w/a missing door.. what do you think?
and yes, I did ask him this...
He says "Pop it back on"
yeah.. sure.. no problem.. do I do that?
Men & Murphy.. they are related creatures you know..
so me in my wise sarcastic wisdom, tell him that I will pull the crane out of the garage and go ahead and bring it in that way, would that work for him?! He doesnt reply.. niiiiiice!!! Asshole..
ok.. what..
I make some coffe.. turn on the cartoons for the wee ones, step outside, have a smoke.. and start laughing some more.. and I cant stop laughing.. hysteria is close behind... 8:30 am.. and Im losing it! Get the straight jacket ready, clean the padded Cell.. because Im on my way!

Finally get ahold of a friend to pick up the kids for school (my son is already late) get ahold of a co-worker to pick me up on her way to work (Thank you J, I love you & she brought me my double mocha.. thats a friend )
and R shows up, calls me at 10, and says.. I got the door on..

thank you for that...

So, its Murphy's Law, as the morning started out perfect, things were ON time, car started, kids were happy.. jingle bell's was in the air, and Murphy just flipped me his finger, and poof.. the goodness is GONE!!! ASSHOLE!!!

So, Im gonna fly to Ireland, find the pub that he's sitting in, and Im going to dump his mug of Guiness all over the top of his wee little head..
then Im gonna throw him on the ground, and kick him, stomp on his head, and spit on him...
Because this aint fair...
Ok, Murphy.. you got me..
If I promise to not fly to Ireland and beat the shit out of you.. will you leave me the hell alone already.. I give up.. you win... You are the victor!!!

So, Im hoping that 2006 will be better, as I cant take much more..


Danielle said...

aw gurl!!!
I hope todayis better for you!!! and 2006!!!

I had tolaugh at Men & Murphy though!!! Haaaaaaaa!!

Happy Friday!

Danielle said...

i am not gonna be around much today but just wanted to say happy monday!!!

Sharon Smith said...

I've been asking,too,for years now..."just who in the f**** is "murphy" I laugh and snicker in frustration and toss my hands in the air,throwing the blame on Murphy's laws...So,once more I ask "just who is Murphy anyways"...?