How was everyone's weekend?
I decided that the the depression was no longer going to lead my life, so Saturday evening, I took my kids roller skating (for her birthday and she had 22 friends show up) and I decided I would re-live my glory years and put on a pair of skates! And I want it on record that I didnt do that bad! I mean, I did fall once all because the owner (who remembers me from 25 yrs ago when I used to live at the rink every Friday & Saturday night) made a comment to me, I turned around to acknowledge him and BAM.. down I went and now my right knee is swollen and bruised.. LOL but it was fun, other than that I skated and remembered that skating really is a work out!
My kids decided to head to their Aunt & Uncles that night, which was interesting as they havnt been to their house in months... so I ended up having the evening to myself so my good friend and I headed out. I danced, I laughed, I flirted, I got flirted with, told I was gorgeous and beautiful and HOT... that one cracked me up... but it made me realize that Im still me. Im still the same old me, no matter how old I get. Made me feel so much better! Oh..and I got carded..haha.. I guess I still look young...
After the bar, headed home and then decided to do some late night dialing.. bad bad Barney.. but it did turn out well, my beneficial friend showed up.. and we had a rather interesting conversation that I wasnt sure how to respond to.
We were standing in my kitchen... just talking, he was hungry (then again when arnt men hungry) so he was cooking himself something to eat, we were discussing all kinds of things.. from the Seahawks to relationships. He told me happy birthday, then stated that he had another 8 months to enjoy life, then he was going to start getting serious about marriage, that he made himself & his mom a promise that he would be married by the end of his 40th year.
Which brought up the conversation of what he was looking for in his life partner. As the conversation continued, him asking me my views on marriage, me asking him... he started to say something then stopped... said that he couldnt tell me whatever he was about to say..
I asked why not..
"Because someday you and I may be married and you would hold it over my head!"
Then he proceeds to tell me how much he's missed me, and he's made some bad choices.
And well..then things got really good (wink wink)
The next morning..after I finally rouse him from bed.... oh yeah and the sleeping thing, OMG!!!! I have gotten so used to sleeping alone that Im not used to somone else sleeping right next to me.. and when I say right next to me I mean RIGHT next to me!!!
He had to be touching me.. dont get me wrong.. the occasional cuddle is fine.. but I do NOT like to be confined when I sleep..he had his leg over mine, his arm over me, and his head right on my pillow.. MY pillow.. King size bed people.. there is plenty of room for both of us.. get in your own damn space... I would move, he would move, I would try to move him.. he would pull me with him.. needless to say.. I didnt get much sleep.
So.. were standing in the kitchen, he's making some toast (yep.. hungry again) and he's just talking a mile a minute.. about this and that.. and so forth and so on..
when I look at him and say.. shut up... Im not a morning person.. dont talk to me until Ive had my coffee.. he knows this..
he says.. yeah.. Im talking alot.. this just means that Im really comfortable with you. Were gonna do well together.. this coming from someone I thought had an understanding of what we ment to each other.. and he kept telling me he missed me. Hey, buddy Ive been right here...
so I guess this just makes me sit back and realize that I dont know what I want..
what is it I want? Guess I better figure that out!!!
But what does any of THAT mean?
Men... they are so hard to understand... or am I putting to much thought into it?