Reflections

2005 come and gone

Looking back over this year I realize I have been thru so much and yet I still have made it through.

I clearly remember Jan 1, 2005 midnight, standing on my friends front porch, drinking, talking, and arguing, as we all get together there is ALWAYS an argument. Thats what friends do tho. They argue, laugh, cry, glare, tell each other like it is. Anyhow... The argument that night was over my friend S, wanting R (yep..my ex who is still living w/me) at the time he and I werent dating, but anyhow S wanted R, however she is married to his best friend.. LOL.. oh..the good times.. S's husband heard her say how HOT R was, and the shit hit the fan from there!!! LOL... it was so long ago, that it just seems so surreal!

Jan.. my boy turns the big 11!!! He's a New Years Baby... on this day 11 yrs ago he was born, first baby boy of this county... beat by a little girl at the other area hospital by an hour

Feb 2005 - 2 trips to ER w/my son... one where he pieced an old bicycle together and went down the side of a mountain and since there were no breaks on this beautiful bike, he used his face as the stopping mechanism....into the side of a TREE!!!! This was Valentines Day.. thats how I spent my V-Day..sitting in ER w/my boy... R brought me a dozen roses... that was sweet
then at the end of Feb.. my son says his arm hurts.. I take a look, and he has a little scratch that he didnt bother to tell me about that has gotten infected.. to the point of blood poisoning..
Back to ER as its a weekend, I.V. drip, overnight observation.. yep.. year is starting out grrrrreaate!!!

April 2005 - W shows back up, and takes me for another ride... and basically cleans me out.. I loose so much..

summer months were good months, nothing to complain about, all was going well,

River rafting.. my daughter almost's drowns... she's a good swimmer, she's wearing a life vest, river is really calm, then all the sudden we go around the bend, and there's the freakin rapids.. actually, they were mild rapids, but my girl went off course and got stuck in a nasty little rapid by a fallen tree she figures she can just jump off and walk to the side, until the under toe grabs her... scariest moment of my life.. I jump off my tube and try to "run" to her.. hi..you cant run in moving water!!! finally get to her, grab her, yank her up by her hair..literally... and drag her to the side.. we sit.. we breath, and then both of us decide "forget this" we're walking back!!!!

end of June me and the kids get a new place, and move in.. and then here comes R & W.. damn Im to nice or something... then again, I understand what it's like to not have a place to lay your head at night, and I understand not having somewhere to call home, been there done that, so I let them stay... what was I thinking????

October... I turn the big 33 & my baby girl turns the big 9..

November... I get notice from my son's school he's flunking out of the 6th grade..
turkey day I get the flu..

December... Christmas... gawd I hated this year!!!! Not in the jolly spirit, not in the spirit..

Please let 2006 be better..

There are so many other things that happened through at 2005, but some are so personal that I just dont wish to share at this moment.. Raw wounds that just have not healed, some very evil things that I have done, some moments that I need to apologize to others for.. some issues that I just havnt come to grasp with yet... but all in all..Stick a form in me.. Im done!!

My wish for all of you... May this upcoming year bring you love, happiness, and a bright light to lead you when life gets dark. To succeed at all that you set out to do, and to achieve all that you wish to accomplish.
But most of all.. may this year bring you good friends, as nothing is more important than having a few good friends to dry your eyes when you cry, to hold your hair as your worshipping that porcelein god, to laugh at your stupid jokes, and to be able to sit in utter silence and still not feel alone!!!!

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!