Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Self Love

It's been almost a year since Ive felt a man inside me.
sometimes I wonder if it's me or the vibes that I am sending off?
Im not an unattractive women, more along the lines of just being fed up with the whole cat & mouse game of finding that perfect lover. Lets face it, no lover is perfect! There is always room for improvment. Whether that be him or me.

But what does it boil down to? I keep remembering that episode of Sex n the City where one of the girls gets a new dildo and refuses' to leave her apartment. Me and my play toy have had a lot of fun over the last few months. However I think Im getting tired of it.. I need some new vibrations :)

What's weird is that I have a huge sex drive, and I can read something, or think of something and instantly get turned on, I feel those nether regions of mine to start to tingle and get a little moist and then I cant stop thinking about getting into bed that evening and allowing my hands to roam my body, then pulling out bob (battery operated boyfriend) and having my way with him!
I rarely feel guilty over my enjoyments... I mean seriously why should I? I have been masterbating since I figured out what pleasure I could bring myself. Hell I started having sex at the young tender age of 12.. ok ok.. I was almost 13.. but.. once I figured out what I needed to do, what I enjoyed it was all about the release.

But, coming full circle, like I said, it's been almost a year. why so long you ask.. well.. I kind of swore off men, mainly because of the song and dance.. it's so much damn effort to get to know someone, to understand them, to figure out if there is a connection. All the games of dating are lost on me. Lets just get it on.. but.. on the flip side of this, is the whole STD issues. I dont want any of that.. I know I know there are condoms available... but.. I aint taking them back to my place I dont want some random stranger knowing where I live, and I sure as hell dont wanna go to their place... so then what?

I really need a fuck buddy... or a beneficial friend.. no strings attatched.. it's just sex.. like Pretty Women, no kissing cuz that makes it to intimate!!! HAHA...

Ok.. on this note all this talking makes me horny baby... guess I should head home, think about bed and let bob out of his drawer.. oh... yeah.. a nice hot shower w/the water beating down on ya is great too!!! haha... oh yeah ladies and gentlemen.. there is NOTHING wrong with a little self love!!!



Weekends Off said...

I have to laugh so hard right now because mine is named Bob too.

I know exactly what you mean about the whole STD thing, I never wanted to bring anyone to my apartment either. So much easier to avoid bad drama when things end when the dude doesn't know where you's easier to avoid stalkers that way.

Any ideas on who might be your buddy? I had one...between K and my ex. It was kinda raunchy of me, but I'll spill. When the ex and I broke up I called up one of his buddies, one that I kinda had tingles for and well.........let me just say I knew him well enough to say I didn't fuck a stranger so buddy fits, and it was great because like you said - no strings- no attachments- no obligations- just sex.
Plus the added revenge of fucking his friend kinda thrilled me.

Barney said...

I have thoughts on who.. it's just getting them in the same city that is tough right now..
my one beneficial friend lives about 40 min away.. with his busy schedule and my screwed up schedule things are not working out!!

Other than that.. the rest of my male friends.. are just that.. friends.. I cant look at them and get all those tingly feelings..

Oh well.. until then.. it's me and Bob baby!!!!

The Dung Beetle said...

And with that post, you have vaulted into the top three of my "must read" list. Congratulations.

I remember having a similar outlook as a single guy... i feel your pain... not literally, but you get what I'm sayin. I had a love-hate relationship with "the game" that has to be played.

On one hand, I enjoyed "the hunt" and the dilusion that I was attracting women without actually trying to be seductive... But on the other hand... when I really needed a warm body without pretense, I was out of luck.

I guess thats why dildos were made for women. Speaking as a guy, another schlong to hide wouldn't do me much good... but as long as there's porn, lotion, and kleenex, I think we're all gonna be ok.