Wednesday, March 26, 2008

It's done..finally..I have moved on!!!!

The ex wrote me an email..
one stating that I was raising "our" children to be liars.. that I was an "ugly person"
stating that he is done trying to be my "friend" and done sending me money (mind you, he's only paid $20 total in child support)

One stating that he see's my true colors.. Im a bitch.. duh.. already knew that.. one stating that I have never moved on in life, and that he has.. one stating that God is on his side.. not on mine..

So.. I wrote a response in return.. one that I wont send.. but one that I had to vent.. if he ever really does piss me off.. it's one that I will send.. but until then.. I feel better for writing it.. if I was to send it to him.. it would just open up a line of communication that I no longer wish to have in my life...
Here's the letter:

I'm not sure why I am replying to your bullshit.. but none-the-less... here I am responding, which I guess in a round about way, makes me the weak person.. oh well...

I'm not stopping you from being a father to R.. never have, I am however stopping you from being a passing fancy in her life. You come and you go, with no general concern for others. Maybe your changing, maybe your not. Either way I could really care less. Your track record speaks for itself. Your a free-loader, and I wouldn't be surprised if your using the current people your living with or sponging off of. It's what you do.. and you should be oh so proud of yourself for being able to manipulate situations.. Way to go W!!!!

Believe it or not, and it's your choice.. at this point in the game,because this has all become a game.. one that I don't wish to play anymore, but I have forgiven you... I have forgiven you for all the bullshit you put me and MY children through. But, I will NEVER forget.. two different things... I also thank you.. I thank you for teaching me how to be a strong, independent women. For teaching me how to stand on my own two feet, with assistance from my family once, who LOVE me.. I was and am able to provide for MY children. Sadly, you have no family to turn to.. your family sings a different tune when I receive emails from them. Your a liar W.. always have been.. always will be. Your a user.. not of just drugs, which I do hope you have finally given up.. but a user of people, situations & emotions. If you ever amount to anything in life, I will be greatly shocked. As of right now, your a nothing... R doesn't need a father like that. I wouldn't be surprised if she was ashamed of you.

Did you ever stop to think, why she doesn't tell you anything? It's not wholly because of me.. I actually don't speak bad about you in front of her. Yet, she's not a stupid child.. she's extremely intelligent and can form her own opinions. She's sad that she doesn't have a father to rely on.. she's mad because her father is such a loser. She's upset at the fact her father cant keep a job, keep his promises, has multiple children and has nothing to do with them. You should feel so proud of yourself! You are nothing more than a sperm donor to your children. Because it takes a hell of a lot more to be a Dad!

Contrary to your belief, I don't blame you for all my financial woes.. I do however blame you for part of them.. after all.. it was you who manipulated situations to better yourself.. with no cares about the me or the kids.. so be it.. my stupidity for allowing that to happen.. I've moved on, away from you. I'm finally happy in life W.. I finally figured out who I am, what I am, what I want, and what I deserve. It's been awhile since I have been happy, nothing you say or do will take that away. You no longer have control over me, and you no longer can manipulate me to do what you want. I'm so sorry that I grew up. Maybe some day you too can grow up and become an adult.

So you see who I am? You have no idea who I am.. you have no idea what my thoughts are, my passions in life, my out look, my wants or my desires. That's all fine with me, I don't want you to know me. Because you have no rights to know me. I have no rights to know you, nor am I going to pretend to know who you are. If I saw you walking down the street, I wouldn't even take a second look in your direction, because your outer appearance is one of a destitute, washed up, used, has been.. oh wait.. you haven't been anything in life.. so your just a wanna be.. a wanna be something in life, but not able to achieve it unless you can pull others down with you. To me that defines "User"

I'm sure God is pleased with you lashing out. Matthew 6:14 - 15 " For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." I have forgiven you..and moved on.

God Bless W...May the road ahead of you bring you happiness, forgiveness & tranquility


janice said...

Great response Barney, you're the bigger person here.

Also love the scripture quote, so fitting.

Good luck...

Promiscuous X said...

Lol Well dam....enough said. I glad you got that outta ya system lol. you had alot to say girl lol. Glad you found your place and standing on your own 2 feet doing your grown woman thing. Nice post. If it was me I would sent it lol but I dont know how dude is (crazy or whatever) be safe. Look forward to your next post

Weekends Off said...

WOW that was good!!! I am impressed! The road you took here was so HIGH from the road he's on he's gonna have to break his neck to get a glimpse of you.

He's a fool. And you are one very classy lady!


Barney said...

Janice -
I had to pull the scripture quote out.. after all.. He found God.. then again.. I didnt realize that God was lost.. Ive known where he's been my entire life!

Promiscuous X -
Sadly... Ive got ALOT more to say.. however.. Im not gonna say it.. sending the letter would just open up yet another line of communication!!! Man needs a life!!! thanks for stopping in!!

Weeks -
The road was a blur alot of the time.. but I made it :) We both made it.. you too have been thru the ringer!!! We are survivors!!!!

Thanks all!!!

April said...

I'm sure your ex and mine are related, in some sick, twisted kind of way.

KBear said...

i would send it. he thinks you are stupid, and God will protect him, yet you quoted words to throw his own in his face.

it was well written, and it always feels so much better to get it out!

Ozfemme said...

I see the whole religion thing is going ... well... for him.

I'd move on and let him go. Chances are if you sent him that, he wouldn't understand it because he's not that evolved.

Your daughter has a strong, loving and more than good enough parent in you and won't suffer his absence.

Way to go, Barney!