Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Till Death do us part

Death is on the for front for me today..

Friday a guy I knew.. not really well, but knew of, passed away.
I feel for his family.. he has 2 young children.. and a girlfriend who worshipped him.
He was only 28 yrs old.

This brings things to close to home.. as I sit and think all the "what ifs"

What if, god forbid, I was to pass..
talking about it, makes my skin crawl, it's almost as if I will bring it to close to home.
Im not afraid to die.. it's part of the natural progression of things. But it worries me, just because of my wee ones.

Makes me realize all the things I need to put into place if that day were to come sooner than expected. Who will they live with? The fact that they need to stay together, and that I dont want them split up and I do NOT want them going to be w/their fathers.
Why not their fathers?
Wonder Mutt's dad is fine, they have a good relationship, they love one another, and his father would take good care of him. But then what about Booga Butt?
Her father is worthless, cant hold a job, does drugs, has no place to live. No, that wont do at all..
and shouldnt they be together? Raised together, under the same roof? Allowed to be w/one another to support each other in times of need?

But I know what will happen... there will be a never ending court battle.. each father will want their child. Regardless if it will be the right thing or not.
Wonder Mutt's father, because of love..
Booga Butt's father.. because of the life insurance... not because of the love..

What to do? I need to put something in place.. living will or something..
will it make a difference? Will my wishes be met?
Will the best interest of the children be met?
Will I never find eternal peace?
Because, my soul will never rest until they are of an age to defend themselves.. until I know they are safe. I will forever float the earth, verifying that the wee ones are secure, safe, and loved.

Rest in Peace Kevin... you will be greatly missed by all those that loved you, knew you, and cherished you.



Weekends Off said...

I'm sorry you are going through this right now, facing ones own imortality is not fun in any way. I wish I knew how to advise you, really.

I would say the will is a terrific idea. And perhaps you can leave your wishes for your children's placement in it, along with your reasons and all you can really do is hope and pray that either it's never needed or that it is considered.

Set the kids up as your beneficiaries, and put a person you trust in charge of it...the jerk won't be able to get his hands on the cash that way and when your kid is of a certain age it will be at their disposal?

Just a suggestion, the best I could come up with.

Hugs, I'm really sorry for your and their loss. 28 is so young.

"T" said...

...tough questions. Even tougher answers and no easy solutions.

Scary stuff, I know.

April said...

It's good to plan but don't dwell on it. Picture yourself with your grandkids :-)