Wednesday, June 13, 2007


1. What is the meanest thing you've ever done/said to a lover/loved one?
I couldnt even began to name the meanest things... I can get pretty cruel... and I have no issues w/arguing... however.. I remember once.. back when my ex and I had seperated, cuz he decided to start doing a stripper... I went thru a phase of making myself feel pretty by being a, um, well.. yeah.. to many one nighters.. anyhow... I remember he undressed I looked at it.. and said.. "Youve got to be kidding me!" needless to say.. he got dressed and left..

2. Have you ever had sex on an elevator?

3. Have you ever lied about a rash and said it was a birthmark? OR Have you ever lied about a birthmark and said it was a rash?
um.. no rashes here.. and no birthmarks.. I was found under a rock...

4. Have you ever had sex on a beach or in the water at a beach/pool?
Yes to the beach! It was a spur of the moment thing.. no blanket.. and sand in the ass isnt NOT fun!!!! not in the water at the beach.. but I have done it in a lake, and hot tub..

5. How old are you? 34
How old do you feel? depends on the day.. some days I feel like Im in my late teens early 20's.. other days.. I swear Im on deaths door..

6. Have you or your partner been injured so badly during sex that you/they had to go to the hospital? we injured ourselves alright.. but due to the "enhanced" state of ourselves.. we decided not to go to the ER or DR or anything.. we were both flying high on Acid.. and well.. you dont "cum" until you come down.. and well.. Acid can be hours worth of flying high pleasure.. but.. well.. 5 hrs later.. I hurt SO BAD..raw.. I dont know how else to put it.. raw raw raw

7. Have you been to a strip club or "titty bar"? (Hooters does NOT count.) If so, did you get a lap dance? LOL.. LMAO.. oh my god!!! Here's a hell of a story!!!
Feb 2007 - Family went to Reno... my dad.. 2 brothers, their wives.. and little ol' me....
My Dad & oldest brother were sitting at some video poker games as I walked by.. we all started talking and then Dad brings up the idea to head to the strip club next door..
And off we went.. and let the games began!!!!

We walk in.. sit down.. start drinking.. proceed to drink.. the strippers are dancing.. this was one of the higher class joints.. spendy drinks.. low lights, alot of red and black material on the walls.. plush leather seats.. and hardly anyone in the place.. the "bouncers" wore black dress pants & white dress shirts w/ties..
Happy hour roll's around.. thank gawd... the drinks started flowing.. at first..I was a little uncomfy.. until a stripper walks around.. and she's talking to my dad, then looks at me... walks over and try's to convince me that I want a lap dance.. Im not drunk enough..Im good..
this gal..who was barely 21.. puts her hand on my shoulder and slowly runs it down my shoulder to the top of my chest... into my shirt..and starts playing w/my nipple..
People.. I was in utter & complete shock.. I wasnt drunk.. but I was slightly buzzed.. and well.. my only response to her was.. Damn..your hands are cold!!!
Dad & Brother laughed.. the girl laughed.. and told me to let her know when I was ready for the lap dance...

Were sitting, were drinking, were watching.. and this guy walks over.. ask's me if I will give the dancer a dollar.. um.. sure.. I walk up to the dancer.. hand her my dollar.. turn around..sit down..
he thanks me.. and then I start asking him questions.. like.. why doesnt he do it.. He's shy.. get over his shyness do it himself.. oh no.. he's to shy... so forth and so on..
he gives me more $$ to take to the next "dancer" I walk up.. try to hand her the $$.. she decides she's gonna take the dollar stick it down my shirt ( I was wearing a tanktop) and pull it out w/her teeth..while her hands were feeling me up.. oh yeah.. that's right..
Then.. she stopped in the middle of her little seductive dance, and asked me where I got my boob job done.. cuz my Dr did an excellent job.. they feel so REAL... um.. honey.. they are real..
natural 42DD that's me.. still firm.. even after 2 kids!!! This gal was amazed.. so she grabs the top of my tank..and rips it down..and expose's my boob.. which.. didnt really bother me.. cuz.. well..Im a flasher.. I will flash my boobs w/no issues.. I dont care.. there just mounds of flesh..

My father & brother were laughing there ass's off.. what a family bonding moment!!!
The evening progressed.. I was D R U N K !!! in fact we all were.. totalled.. gone.. buh buy.. oh my..
toasted.. so much more happene.d. but.. this is long enough..

Lets just say.. my sis n law was P I S S E D at my brother.. cuz he was so toasted.. my step n mommy.. well.. she just laughed it off..

My Dad, Brother and I had 5 hrs of hilarious, good old-fashioned family bonding at the Reno strip club!!!


Weekends Off said...

I got in!!!

And OMG that strip club story was fantastic!

But you know, I have to give you the evil eye now...I'm jealous of your big boobies.

Mine are just lil' ol' c cups. Just. Barely. A. C.

April said...

It sounds like a fun time........I definitely have some similar stories. My guy is always getting me into trouble, even in elevators :-)