Friday, June 01, 2007

The Beautiful One

Again, Im here.. to write about nothingness
What's up with that?
My life has become so non-existant that NOTHING is happening.
I guess it's to be expected, my teen years were far from ordinary.

So.. I guess I will fill you in on my boy child.. Wonder Mutt!

I recieved a call on Wed from his Science teacher, concerning his low grade average.
So, yesterday morning I decided to drive my Wonder Mutt to school, and have an impromptu conf w/the teacher. Little did I realize, there are panic buttons installed at spots thru out the room to bring other teachers at the drop of a hat.

As I sat there, speaking to his science teacher, I realize she has a look upon her, one of panic or scorn.. or maybe both.. as we sat there, and she starts telling me what a defiant, argumentative child I have, the door opens, and in walks another teacher.. sits down.. and then.. the door opens.. in walks another teacher.. sit's down... by this time.. Im feeling as if Im in the hot seat now. Not Wonder Mutt... me.. the Mommy.. the parent..the giver of life.. Im in the hot seat, I am transformed back to my pre-adolesence.. back to the time's when I was called in front of the teacher w/my own parents. Back to a time when corporal punishment was allowed in schools.
Back to when the words were spoken out of my fathers mouth. "You have my permission to swat her ass!" oh yeah.. I remember that swat from the Principal to this day. I was in 6th grade, got busted for shooting spit wads on the school bus at Lori. I think my ass still stings from that swat, w/the wooden paddle that had holes drilled into it, and was bright red.

Sitting there, listening to those teachers, looking at me, w/wonder on their faces as to what kind of parent am I, these givers of knowledge, wondering, how this young beautiful mother, could be a parent at such a young tender age. How could she, be the mother of this defiant, argumentative spawn. Then my son opens his mouth, to argue w/his teacher, and this young, vibrant, beautiful mother's head starts spinning out of control, and words of hystaria start spewing from her mouth, and she smacks her kid in the arm in front of the teachers.....
Wonder Mutt, doesnt react, he realizes his gorgeous mother has lost her cool...and he best close his mouth
The Givers of Knowledge.. sit in awe... realizing they are in the presence of greatness... that this young beautiful mother will control her young!

Ok..enough bullshit... my kid is a little shit!!! and yes, I did smack the boy in his arm for trying to argue, in front of me, w/the teacher.. I informed the teachers I am but a phone call away ( I only work 10 min away from the school) and I have NO issue w/showing up at school and taking Wonder Mutt by his hand, walking him to each class, and sitting w/him. If he needs me to hold his hand thru the day.. I will be HAPPY to do it..

As you see, this young, vibrant, beautiful Mother.. has a twin, the evil, sadistic Mom.. whose head spins around and spew's words of meanness... and lives to embarrass her young..
I warned the young punk.. that if he didnt behave.. I would wear something so awful to school that I would make DAMN sure I would embarass him, so that in his senior year of high school they will STILL be talking about his crazy ass, sadastic, yet beautiful, Mommy!!!


The Dung Beetle said...

*Standing ovation*

I salute you, crazy ass, sadistic, yet beautiful Mommy who isn't afraid to unleash summary punichment at the drop of a hat. Yours is a dying breed. We need more like you.

The Dung Beetle said...

Pardon the typos...